Follow
Share

My wife, who has Alzheimer's dementia (middle stage), complained of a headache every day for at least two weeks, and I gave her a 500 mg Tylenol tablet once or twice a day. After that, she did not mention having a headache for about a week. Then our son came for a visit. The first thing he asked her was "do you still have a headache," and she said yes. He got upset with me for not taking her to our doctor, and he ordered her 50 tablets of 220 mg Naproxen sodium.
Is it possible that his question triggered her memory, and she really did not have a headache? Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

Find Care & Housing
Hi Rick,

I'll add at mid stage and beyond if we were not sure if Mom had pain we gave OTC pain pills. At that point we were not concerned about liver or kidney damage.

We erred on the side of pain relief.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to brandee
Report

Asking a 'closed' question can sometimes get a quick instant yes answer or an instant no. (An instant answer doesn't necessarily always mean it is a truthful answer).

Your son asked "Do you still have a headache?" Answer was Yes.
What is your son had asked "Has your headache stopped?" Would the answer also be Yes?

Asking more 'open' questions may work better.. but also depends on someone being able to verbally describe how they are.
Eg How are you?
If expression or posture makes you suspect something is off, keep investigating.

Ask "Do you have pain?" Look for clues.

Try adding hand gestures also.
Eg Does this hurt? (Point to head)
Does this hurt (point to leg).

I've seen nurses do that. One ran through questions on pain, nausea etc & the patient said yes to absolutely everything & every body part pointed at. In the end, the patient said "I feel bad. I just feel bad".

You know your Wife best. I bet you know her facial expressions, tone of voice & posture & know how she is whether she uses words or not.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Beatty
Report

Mom would say “ouch” or grimace if she was in pain at mid-stage.

at a certain point, she was unable to say, “I have a headache.”
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to brandee
Report

Assuming she did or does have a headache, and because not drinking enough fluids is common in the elderly (even ones without dementia) make sure she is drinking enough water or healthy liquids every day since being dehydrated can cause headaches.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Geaton777
Report
Rick80 Apr 20, 2025
Thanks for your post!! I didn't know that. I am dehydrated, but I rarely have headaches. Like me, my wife does not drink water during the day. Recently, I started trying to drink at least 1 L of water/day and I will try to get her to do the same.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Sometimes dementia patients say, "I hurt," but can't say where. I've observed that they may not even know the meaning of "hurt" anymore. This can be problematic.

My husband is in memory care, and a relative is always so concerned that someone may hurt him. She keeps asking him if someone has hurt him, and so far he says no. No one there would intentionally hurt him! Old people get bruises, but she is ever willing to attribute them to someone besides him. She doesn't realize that he doesn't understand the word "hurt!" Someday he may say that someone there DID hurt him, not knowing what he's saying. Relative is not there often enough to know that he doesn't know whereof he speaks.

I can point to an aide and ask if that's "Susan," and he'll say yes. She's "Marty." I can ask him if he ate lunch today, and he'll say yes. Lunch hasn't been served yet.

Basic procedure is not to believe anything a dementia patient says. Their brains are broken.

Meanwhile, tell your son to butt out. You're the primary caregiver.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Fawnby
Report

Taking 1 or 2 Tylenol tablets a day for a week is no big deal! Relax. You're doing the best you can. Tell your son HE can be his moms primary caregiver from now on and you can ask HIM questions and then judge his caregiving abilities with a woman who cannot even comprehend what she's being asked!
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

With Dementia you never know if they are feeling pain. Check her blood pressure and see if it higher than usual. This could mean pain is present.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
Rick80 Apr 19, 2025
Thank you for your suggestion. Her blood pressure is normal.
(1)
Report
You must now realize that your wife's brain is broken and she may or may not even understand what you or your son are asking her, as comprehension of the spoken word is often lost with any of the dementias.
If your wife is truly hurting you'll be able to tell more by her facial expressions than what she says or doesn't say.
Plus you giving her only 500 mg. of Tylenol once or twice a day wouldn't really have helped much anyway if she truly had a bad headache.
You are the one caring for your wife and YOU have to trust your instincts with her care. Your son is not there every day, so he really doesn't get much of a say in my opinion. That is of course until he is there caring for his mom 24/7.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report
Rick80 Apr 19, 2025
Thanks for your suggestions.
(0)
Report
Quite Possible yes
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to KNance72
Report
AlvaDeer Apr 19, 2025
I agree.
(1)
Report
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter