My husband and I are separated and may or may not get back together. His health is not very good. Am I still legally his POA?

You are considered next of kin. If anything happens to him, unless he has appointed someone as POA, you will be responsible for him. Next comes his children, grandchildren then to his parents, siblings then grandparents. This is how it works in California. Since you two are talking, ask him who he has appointed POA. Some people do not understand what a POA is. When I asked my brother who his was his response was... what is a POA. I have begged my other siblings to tend to their affairs for the future this way it is taken care of. Yes its hard to talk about but it must be done if not the person you don't want to take charge will and then what will happen.

Please see a lawyer about this. In some states, you will be seen as his "wife" if you are separated - even legal separation. In other places, you will not be responsible for his care or his finances. Get that appointment soon and do what is necessary to protect yourself.

Tuffolebroad: His daughter and son can't keep you away since you are your husband's agent in POA. I am not sure I'm understanding that the son brings him breakfast once a week, but "neither of them call or come see him."

"And can they do anything g to keep me away?"

If you still hold POA...No, they can not keep u away. You are his legal representative assigned by him. You need access to him so you know what his needs are. If you have financial, you have access to his banking and assets needed for his care. If POA includes Medical, this gives you the ability to talk to his doctors and tell them what he wants according to the POA. His family has no control unless they go for guardianship, that overrides POA. Give copies of your POAs to his doctors, hospitals he frequents and any facilitiesu he is in. Make sure his bank has a copy with the stipulation only you can handle his accts. You may be separated but that does not revoke ur POA unless he does it.

So in my opinion, you have all the control and they need to understand that. Does not mean you physically care for but it gives u the ability to help him.

Confer with an attorney immediately. There are many loopholes in dynamics such as this. Protect yourself and your estranged husband who is now I vulnerable patient. See an attorney for directions immediately.

As long as there is no divorce decree, then you are still his wife.

"Can she and her brother do this to me at any time?" Do you mean step in to care for him? If they do, how would you be effected since looks like you don't live together. You just "come down" to help him.

Your his POA until DH revokes it or you step down. If he is competent, its not in effect. He can still make his own decisions. If he has been diagnoised incompetent then, you can help him. Is ur POA immediate or you need a doctor or doctors to declare him incompetent? POA is a tool not a control. It gives you the ability to help him pay his bills. Medical helps u deal with his doctors and go by his wishes. You do not financially take advantage of him and you keep good records. I did everything by check so it showed up on Moms bank statement. Any out of pocket I had, I wrote a check to myself once a month and put the receipts in an envelope with the month and check# on the front. You do not need to physically care for him.

You are married until you divorce. My State does not deal with separations. If your husband is competent, he can make his own decisions so its up to him how involved you can be. If he is incompetent, then if not an Immediate POA, you need to get him declared incompetent and see a lawyer to write a letter saying your POA is now effective. That means you make the calls for DH as his representative. And, as his wife. IMO. I would see a lawyer just to run it all by him. Since it seems their are children not yours, I would want everything tied up in a pretty ribbon.

When you first separated, of course there was some bad feeling there. Your husband may have said to his daughter that he didn’t want you around. But he is allowed to change his mind! If he is legally competent (in his right mind, to use ordinary words), he can make up his own mind, and it’s not for your daughter to throw her weight around. If he is legally competent, it doesn't matter who has a Power of Attorney (POA). He makes his own decisions, not them.

If you are visiting, presumably seeing him face to face without him telling you to get out, it’s up to you and him what you do. Perhaps you move back in, if that’s what you both want. Perhaps you tell the daughter to get off his land, if that’s what you both want. Perhaps that’s what she is afraid of!

They would not allow you to talk with him for 3 months?

Can he talk now? Did he say why the kids did that? Or was he that sick…?

does he want you to help him? Or, he trusts you more than his kids.

Apparently the kids got a firsthand glimpse of caretaking.. so much so, they decided not to move the whole family in with him..
Their dad is too much for them to handle….
And it sounds like you still like the guy… you are still family.. glad you’re helping him out…

OP if the daughter and her family aren’t there, what is stopping you from going in to see your husband? You don’t have to obey her! It’s up to your husband to stop you, if he feels like it. Your marriage, however unusual, is none of her business.

Your question is “Do I still have rights as his wife?” Why do you ask? What rights matter to you?

You have ‘separated’, but you are still doing a lot for him. You “may or may not get back together again”. Many married couples do not live together all the time – for example my eye doctor is doing a 1 year experience term in Adelaide, her doctor husband is doing a similar 1 year term in Darwin 3000 kms away. They are not ‘separated’. Your ‘separation’ probably wouldn’t count as ‘living separately’ for divorce purposes, at least not here.

So back to the point – why do you want to know? What is the point of the question?

Are you certain you are his POA at this time; have you asked him?
Your rights to what?
Yes, you are his legal wife.
What do you intend to do with that?
If you are his POA, is he competent or incompetent?

If your husband is competent your rights are to do as he wishes, as he requests you to do as his POA.

If your husband is no longer competent you have rights to invoke the powers of POA as it is written (hopefully by a very good attorney); this is usually done with a letter of incompetency by two doctors.

As you are the wife you have broad powers; as you say there is no legal separation. HOWEVER if you are not the mother of his children, and his children have been caring for him while you are no longer "on the scene" at all, the children have an excellent case for getting guardianship of your husband if he is no longer competent. Their plea before the case would be "dessertion" by his wife for whatever amount of time, and their own caregiving during this latter time.

So as you can see, this is somewhat complicated. I would consult an elder law attorney and tell him your A) intentions and ask him B) what options you have.

How does the son visit once a week and bring breakfast, yet simultaneously never call or visit?