His daughter was given POA while in coma. My fiance lives in a nursing home now but is alert and awake. His daughter says I'm not welcome to visit him there because they don't like me, but we loved together and were together. It's obvious he wants me there but the nursing home makes me leave when I go there. This is so wrong but do they have power to do this?

Find Care & Housing
If the POA reads only when the principle cannot speak for himself or is found incompetent to make own decisions and he is now awake and aware, then she no longer has that authority. He can now speak for himself. Have you tried to visit? Are you on a list of people not allowed to visit? I would call the Nurses desk and talk to the DON. Tell her what the daughter said and ask if the DON can ask your fiance if it's OK if you come visit him. POA does not give daughter the authority to over ride the principles wishes.
Helpful Answer (15)
Reply to JoAnn29
commutergirl Jun 23, 2019
I would want awake and alert to be more defined.
This circumstance has come up recently in another thread. Depending upon the wording of the POA document, technically yes, she does have the power. But very likely the document wording also states the POA is to act on the best interest of the designee, your fiancé.

Isolating a person just because a POA says so may be not acting in his best interest. For instance, if you were abusive and the daughter knew it, the daughter's actions make sense. If the daughter is refusing you just because she can, "they don't like me" [who is "they" and how does that matter?], then I'd notify Social Services or Department of Aging and file a complaint. Have them find out why the daughter's isolating her father and how that's in his best interest.
Helpful Answer (14)
Reply to MountainMoose

No she wasn't. Given POA while your fiancé was in a coma, that is. Not possible. Power of attorney can only be given by a person who is a consenting adult and, importantly, as a bare minimum, fully conscious.

So I don't know what the situation is but I do know it's not that.

How long is it since your fiancé recovered from his coma?
Helpful Answer (12)
Reply to Countrymouse
AT1234 Jun 23, 2019
Countrymouse, it’s shocking to me to read so much misinformation about POAs and how they work. Thank you for educating here.
Seems to me principle doesn’t want contact, but who knows.
I thought the POA was supposed to act in the person's best interests? Keeping the fiance away certainly isnt in his best interest. If she is capable of that, what else is she capable of?
Id be careful leaving your house unattended too long, but thats me. What stops her from removing all his & your stuff in your absence? Or locking you out of the house if it is in his name only. Maybe have a neighbor notify you if anyone shows up at your house. Or get a ring/camera.

She could also wipe out your joint checking/savings accounts from what I am reading about other posters on this forum. After the $ is gone you cant do much. I wouldnt keep much $ in there to be on the safe side. Seems even long standing spouses wishes can be run over by vindictive POAs!!!! Wow I didnt know that!!

I looked it up this issue and the lawyers on a forum said to call an elderly law attorney, Department of Elder Services, or Department of Social Services. You have to do this quickly. They said you cant wait.

I dont know how she can over ride his rights if he is talking and wants to see you.
Can you talk to fiance via phone? Let him know what is going on? I would think if he is verbal he can say who visits him or not. Is he just awake, or is he oriented and knows what is going on? The POA acts on his behalf when incapacitated.
He should be able to get an attorney or notary to come in and remove her. Got to talk to the lawywr 1st.
There are 4 types of POA. Find out which one she has. This goes over the types.

Please let us know how that goes. I just realized this could happen to ANYONE even long standing married couples with step kids can have problems. The step kids from 1st marriages can rip the spouse away, and keep the other spouse in the dark about their whereabouts. Please keep us informed how it goes. Good luck!!!
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to Jasmina
AT1234 Jun 23, 2019
Wow, there are a lot of assumptions here! The belongings in his home, your combined money, no I don’t think this OP said any of that. So much not said in this post I’d suggest if he has not invited you in there’s probably a reason. Red flags. Respect his wishes.
If you fiancé is awake and alert, capable of speaking his wishes, the POA is no longer in force and he needs to tell his daughter that you are allowed to visit. He also needs to notify the care facility. They cannot keep you out if you are not creating a disturbance for him or the other residences. It sounds like more is at play behind the scene.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to Kathy4177

No. Her POA is no longer valid if he is alert and awake. Ask the nursing home to check with HIM if he wants to see you. Otherwise they're breaking the law. And how did he sign over his POA when he was in a coma? She probably never had his POA legally...
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to SFdaughter
commutergirl Jun 23, 2019
Not really true. My mother is awake and alert however unable to comprehend what her medical needs are and ability to answer on her own behalf
and thereby my POA for her remains in effect until death or a miracle. The POA could have been voluntarily signed by him prior to accident. I prepare POAs for family and friends, not an attorney required document because it is signed voluntarily. My son has been in and out of relationships and he is well aware if anyone is in charge when he can't speak up its Mom. My daughter, brother, hell I made one for my ex husband. Ever since Terri Shriver in Florida was on life support for years with long court battle between husband and parents it has been noted the vitality of having a POA.
Bowrebound, as CountryMouse had stated, it is impossible for someone who is in a coma to give authority as to who will be their Power of Attorney.

Or did the daughter always had the Power of Attorney and now she is doing her duty to abide by what is written in the said legal document?

You must be communicating with someone from the family or a family friend to know that your fiance is now alert and awake. Maybe give this time, the accident could have created medical issues that the family would prefer you not see.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to freqflyer

So much wrong here I can’t list. See an attorney or do some research your assumptions are not based on law or truth.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to AT1234

Have you talked to your fiance?

Does he know that you are being kept away?

He needs to know or he will be believing that you abandoned him in his hour of need. I would get word to him and ask him to tell the nursing home that he wants you there. The POA is only whilst he cannot make his wishes known and is not of a sound mind. Sounds like he no longer needs anyone talking on his behalf if he is awake and alert.

That would be my 1st step.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal

Maybe she was made the decision-maker while he was in a coma as the next kin, but not likely POA, since only your fiance can assign a POA and he did not have mental capacity at the time. If he now has returned mental capacity, then gets to call the shots again. Even if he didn't have capacity, and they were allowing the daughter to make decisions, they would have to have a very good reason for not allowing you to visit, such as you coming in and causing problems such as being drunk and belligerent or fighting/yelling at patients or staff. Otherwise, they would need to get a restraining order against you to keep you away. If your fiance wants you to visit, and they are not allowing it, it could be interpreted as social isolation which is elder abuse and you should report it to the LTC Ombudsman.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to SofiaAmirpoor

See All Answers

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter