THANKS for the response. My dad has been in for 5 months and I don't visit everyday the NC said it would better if I visit less to get him settled. He is on anxiety medicine but he is so strong headed he says nothing is wrong with him. My heart is broken but I stay strong for him. My father will also call and tell me he loves me and he wants to come home it's like I can't win but I keep trying is all I can do.
Many on this forum use stories like, "The house has a bug (or vermin) infestation and it's being fumigated. You can't go back there yet." Or, "there's a gas leak" or anything that he may comprehend as unsafe so for that moment the discussion doesn't devolve into him begging and you fending off. Whatever works to keep him calm.
How long has he been in the unit? If it hasn't been for long, I'd talk to the admin, who may suggest you not have contact for short while as he adjusts.
Is he on any meds for mood, anxiety, or agitation? If not, his doctor should be consulted about this possibility.
Your situation is extremely common. Are you visiting him every day? Maybe see him less for now and when he starts asking to go home you must redirect the conversation or bring something to distract him (like photos or his favorite foods).
At the quarterly care meetings for my MIL in LTC she always asks when she can go home. She has mild dementia and memory impairment and she's not mobile. Her home has been gone for 6 years. We tell her a "therapeutic fib" to keep her calm, which is the goal for someone with cognitive impairment. We don't remind her that her home is gone. We tell her that when she can walk on her own and do her ADLs then she can "leave". She always insists she can walk. Then we say, "ok then you need to show the doctor your ability and she can authorize your release" and this answer always satisfies her and gives her hope. Then the next hour or day that conversation is forgotten.
Please don't feel guilty as you've done nothing wrong. You are feeling grief, which is normal and anyone in your situation would be feeling. May you receive peace in your heart as your father settles in.
Blessings
Is he on any meds for mood, anxiety, or agitation? If not, his doctor should be consulted about this possibility.
Your situation is extremely common. Are you visiting him every day? Maybe see him less for now and when he starts asking to go home you must redirect the conversation or bring something to distract him (like photos or his favorite foods).
At the quarterly care meetings for my MIL in LTC she always asks when she can go home. She has mild dementia and memory impairment and she's not mobile. Her home has been gone for 6 years. We tell her a "therapeutic fib" to keep her calm, which is the goal for someone with cognitive impairment. We don't remind her that her home is gone. We tell her that when she can walk on her own and do her ADLs then she can "leave". She always insists she can walk. Then we say, "ok then you need to show the doctor your ability and she can authorize your release" and this answer always satisfies her and gives her hope. Then the next hour or day that conversation is forgotten.
Please don't feel guilty as you've done nothing wrong. You are feeling grief, which is normal and anyone in your situation would be feeling. May you receive peace in your heart as your father settles in.