A suitable place was found locally(free) but he refuses to even talk about it. My mother is at breaking point as she suffers with ill health & is severely depressed, even hinting that if she was not here anymore they might then have to help my father. He refuses to do anything she asks eg his exercises etc, has thrown hot cups of tea at her with his one good arm& punched her. He needs 24 hr supervision,spends 24 hours a day in one chair that he sleeps in at night. Their living room is too small /a fire risk to have a bed in. My mother can no longer even support him to move from his chair to his frame due to her bad back &shoulder & his deteriorating health, having to resort to finding a neighbour free to help her if he gets agitated and needs to move (due mainly to the pressure sores on his bottom & groin which are that bad they have to be redressed every day by nurse!) She has to sleep on the couch next to him as he needs support through the night & gets agitated if she leaves him. Mum has coped with the worsening verbal abuse due to the dimentia for several years, but it has become increasingly harder to manage since his stroke 6 months ago; The final straw though has been the violence & feels it is no life for either of them. Social services seem to be just passing them from pillow to post for over a month now and she is at her wits end! Suggestions of putting him in nappies then the carers can clean him up later and mum hiding in her bedroom and leaving him on his own when he get aggressive as a long term solution are insulting!! Can anyone please suggest who my mum can go to for help?