Mom's in the hospital and insists she wants to go home against my and her doctor's better judgement. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

Mom's in the hospital and insists she wants to go home against my and her doctor's better judgement. Any advice?

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Mom has severe dementia. I haven't been able to get a good night's sleep. She is also delusional. Last week she suddenly was unable to stand or walk. She is now in the hospital and has been given a thorough physical and psyciatric evaluation. They are working on adjusting her meds so we can both sleep. All of the sleeping pills and calming meds have not worked in the past. She is up all night!

The doctor and I agreed to put her in rehab for physical therapy. He believes she is strong and will walk again. I explained all of this to her and she agreed. She will be transfered any day soon. Now she is complaining that she wants to go home. I can't handle her if she can't stand up and walk.

I work full-time and I have a HHA that stays with her while I'm at work. Any ideas on how I can handle this?

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I had to move my mother, on Easter Sunday. (She was private pay.) There is a lot of differences between various rehabs and NH. Good luck and I hope things get better.
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Bring your mom home and ask her doctor for home health agency referral for "safety and adl and fall risk evaluation" just because she reaches maximum potential for nursing home doesn't mean she's actually reached potential. My mom (who's a retired nurse and director of home health agency) said she's seen stroke patients plateau for a while then make more progress once home. The issue sadly with the nursing home is once she's reached the 100 days they don't get anymore money regardless of her rehab status.
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Try a different place next time! Some facilities are very cookie cutter or assembly line rather than thoughtful or careful...a lot of it is corporate culture,sometimes a good individual staffer or two can make all the difference...
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The lawyer can only give you advise. My mom is rehabbing in a nursing home and she gets 100 days of Medicare which they pay at 80%. She also has Tricare for Life as her secondary and they pick up the remaining balance. Ther are two sides to a nursing home. One, of course, is for the permanent residents which they call long term care. The other side is for rehab patients. Sometimes these are their own residents who need some rehab or they can be someone who is in independent living rehabbing from a hospital stay. My mom is 91 years old and if she has a hospital stay, she quickly has problems standing up and walking on her own. That is why she has to go to a nursing home for rehab so she can come back home and stay with me. However, nursing home rehab is so bad and they almost kill her with their incompetence. I am going through that now and they want to kick her out (she's not on Medicaid) because they don't think she'll make much more PT progress for the stroke she had in their facility. They don't know that for a fact, they just "think" that. I would rather bring my mom home to die on her own terms than have a nursing home kill from negligence/incompetence. What do you do?
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I don't plan on putting my mother in a nursing home. But I was told that if I have to an Elder Law attorney can help resolve the issues.
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Debbie, the IRS rules are not the same as Medicaid rules. Medicaid wants it ALL back for her care or they simply will not pay. So my advice to gingin and her family is GET IT BACK by either paying up during the penalty period or taking out a loan for the full amount to pay it back. Any attempt to hide or dump assets can result in jail time or judgments against you.
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You are safe with gifting when it is only $13000.00 a year to the same person after two years. If she gifted more money than that to each person then they have to give back. Every year the gifting amount might change.

My mom is living with me and she has dementia. I know exactly what it is like. I believe that she is in the early stages, but she is getting worse. Her doctors give her lorazapam twice a day, and she sleeps very well at night and takes naps during the day. I hope this helps
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One of the first things they ask when you start looking for help or placement is "was your mom or dad a veteran?" because there are quite a few options that non-veterans do nor have.
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GivIng. I'm so glad you were able to I out that at least you will get reimbursed. With regard to Nh not accepting reimbursement, maybe ask to talk to the person the nh reports to? When someone says no, I always ask to talk to their supervisor. Nicely.
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I spent all afternoon yesterday talking to Medicare and CHAMPVA. My mom is in a nursing home with a rehab dept. Because she's in a Nursing facility Medicare will only pay 20 days and then there is a $152 per day coinsurance. My mother has CHAMPVA and they will pay the $152 per day coinsurance. The facility won't accept CHAMPVA so the customer service rep had a 3 way conversation with the Nursing home and told them that not only will they pay the $152 copay but when Medicare stops paying they will pay in full up to 100 days. If the Nursing home doesn't accept it and I have to pay for it CHAMPVA will reimburse the money to me.

It's an excellent rehab center but I don't know why they have to make things difficult.

Don't take anyone's word for it, call Medicare or CHAMPVA yourself. They were extremely helpful.
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