I am new to caregiving. Last year my mom had to make a quick move from another state to live near me after my dad died. She is in a lovely AL and has settled in nicely but misses parts of her old life. She insisted on having her whole set of pots and pans even though she doesn’t have a stove (she doesn’t remember that she doesn’t have one) and wasn’t really cooking much before. She is now fixated on her iron and ironing board though she hasn’t used it in years. She mentions it frequently when I visit her and keeps calling, wanting to set up a time for me to take her to her storage unit to pick it up. The iron and board are not there, we got rid of them because it wouldn’t be safe for her to use an iron. I don’t want to just tell her no, you can’t have them. If she sees they aren’t in storage, she will want to buy new ones. I have offered to iron anything she wants but she wants to do it herself. Had anyone had experience with this or have any advice? So far I have been able to tell her we’ll look later but she is becoming more insistent.
Thank you
Tell mom the AL does not allow residents to have irons in their apartments, period. (Which is likely true anyway, btw) The subject is closed. If she refuses to drop the subject, it's time to have her cognizance tested. You mention she has 'memory issues', so perhaps dementia has set in and that's why she's fixating on irons and ironing boards. That was the case with my mother. I will say, if I gave her an iron with no cord, she'd have had a meltdown. Unless your mother has moderate to advanced dementia going on, she WILL know that the iron isn't getting hot and it NOT doing what it's supposed to do by removing the wrinkles in her clothes........LOL.
Part of life for YOU now is learning to use the word NO with your mother. Get used to it b/c it will have to be used quite often, unfortunately. At this stage of life, they tend to want to do A LOT of unsafe things that require us to tell them no, you can't do that mom, sorry.
Good luck!
With Dementia they go back in time.
Some of that does a pretty good job, too!