My mother showers twice a week and she getting adamant about not showering. She doesn't need one, she's clean, she's already showered today, that's what she says we go to do it. She's very angry about getting one too, we heat the room so it's nice and warm and make it quick too.
A few suggestions they gave me were:
Begin with the feet getting them wet.
The face/head and torso are "vulnerable" areas and many do not like being hit with water in these areas.
It is noisy in the bathroom so keep noise to a minimum.
What I did:
I am lucky that I have a zero entrance shower so he would sit in a shower wheelchair.
I would start getting his feet wet then I would hand him the shower wand/sprayer and he could get his legs, torso wet as he wanted.
When he got as wet as he wanted I would then take the shower head and go to his shoulders and back.
Talking to him I would use a quiet voice and a slightly lower pitch so it did not seem so "harsh or loud".
At times I would turn off the water so it was quiet while I was lathering him up. the room stayed pretty warm as I would draw the shower curtain and with the door closed the room stayed warm enough.
Rinsing, again I would start with the feet and repeat the same process.
sometimes it is not worth the argument, frustration of trying to get a shower or bath done.
A bed bath can be just as effective.
If medications are given at any time for anxiety or agitation try giving the medication first then waiting an hour or so before the shower or bath.
Make sure she feels safe. A shower chair, bench or even placing a walker in the shower so there is something to hold on to. Unless there are SECURE grab bars available.
If there are towel bars right next to the shower or bath remove them and replace them with SECURE grab bars.
If you have a glass shower door with a bar across the door remove the door and replace it with a shower curtain on a tension rod. The reflex to grab the bar on the door or the towel bars getting in or out of the shower or bath is great and they are not meant to support body weight.
And last..Sometimes it is easier to get someone to come in and give the shower or bath. There are people that can work "magic" and get people that are resistant to a shower to take one.
Although, my mother who is almost 98 never had good hygiene to begin with she was and is a member of the once a week let's take a bath/shower whether I need it or not club.
She has very mild dementia, so that is not the reason.
I also have friends my age 75 that only bath a couple of times a week, and I can see them stretching the bathing further and further apart as they age.
Me, it is every day, so it all does not compute to me.
Since my mother is in AL at least she is bathed a couple times a week, same goes for my step-mother who is in MC.
I let the trained people deal with them, I have neither the patience nor inclination to do so.
This is a question that is asked on a regular basis, the answers seem to be of a trial-and-error nature, try this or that and hope for the best.
I am sure more will respond and perhaps have suggestions.
Good Luck!