Mom asks the same questions 10-15 times per hour. How should I respond?

I guess you could answer the same way each time (which can be annoying to "you"), or you could ignore sometimes.  Its hard changing the subject because their mind is not set that way with dementia.  you could say "i don't know" and then start talking about something else or maybe find a book with pictures for her to look at, it might help.  wishing you luck.

Hi Martinjan
this is difficult and yes of course you should respond to her each time, but can be very challenging of course. It is sometimes best to try to divert her and engage in something if possible, maybe put some gentle music on that you know she likes, chat about it and ask why she likes it and does it remind her of anything, assuming you are able to engage with her, I have looked after a few people with dementia and find that doing an activity can sometimes help maybe you can let me know if there is anything in particular she enjoys, also if her sight is ok. You said when she is asks after the cat she keeps asking, you say the cat is in the yard and she knows that, but if the short term memory is affected she will forget within seconds, sadly.

If she constantly asks the same questions try writing down the questions on a piece of paper follwed by the answers.
When she starts asking the same questions explain to her that you realize how important it is for her to have answers so you wrote them down for her. Give her the paper to read. It will give you a break and help satisfy her need to get answers.

Perhaps having a ready set of answers that require no extra thought and effort will help.

Examples:
"It's upstairs/down the hall, outside."
"Tomorrow."
"I'll need to check on that."
"Good observation."

Please.... just answer her. My sister in law and I had the same problems. We don't live together and both our parents are gone. For awhile there if I asked her something or mentioned something she would give a snarky answer that she had already told me or I had already said that. It got to the point where I no longer came over to visit because of this. To me it was highly frustrating. I finally just came out and told her that in the time she told me she "already told me that" she could have just told me the answer. That if I remembered what the answer was I wouldn't be asking. Being on the other side of your question, being the one driving the other one nuts, I feel for your mom. I finally got to the point where I would say, "I may have already asked this but..." Or "I may have asked this before but..." which made her at least answer me in a civil manner. We get along a lot better now and I do my best not to drive her nuts and she does her best to answer my question.... And remember, if your mom knew the answers she keeps asking about she wouldn't be asking the questions.

It is frustrating answering the same question over and over. Remember, for your mom she is asking for the first time. Try redirecting, get her laugh, look at old photos, play music or a short car ride. Unfortunately the strategy that worked yesterday might not work today.

Wold you like to be ignored when you ask a question? Neither would anyone else. Your mom probably has Dementia and shirt term memory loss and doesn't remember asking tge question or what the answer.
So, when she asks you a question, answer her.

How many times as a little child did you ask all the Why questions, ect. Did she answer you or ignore you.

Treat her as you woukd want to be treated.

Well my first response to part of your questions is...
Mom does not "know" the cat is in the yard. She may have known but that information gets lost in a brain that no longer processes or retains information.
She does not "know" her husband died for the same reason.
She is getting angry for possibly 2 reasons.
She "knows" she should know the answer to the questions she is asking but is frustrated that she doesn't .
She is picking up on your frustration at being asked the same questions 10 to 15 times an hour.

So when you answer her question the second time rephrase the answer.
First time..
Mom: Where is the cat?
You: In the yard.
Second time...
Mom Where is the cat?
You: I don't know, I think I saw it in the yard, why don't we bring your chair over to the window so we can look for it.
Third time...
Mom: Where is the cat?
You: Mom, do you want a snack? Let's go get some yogurt.
You can find some way different to answer each time. One answer may not be processed but another might be.

They sometimes can get stuck in a loop or when they have an unmet need like pain, anxiety, or boredom; one of the ways to alleviate this is to figure out what is prompting it. You might ask the doctor about medication, it can be a great help for those who are anxious or have underlying depression. Keeping her occupied might also help cut down on the frequency of her questions, depending on where you live something like an adult day care could give her a social outlet and something new to think about. And sometimes all you can do is give yourself permission to remove yourself from it - go to another part of the house, pull out the vacuum or do some other noisy task, wear earplugs or headphones.

This is a classic symptom, and the fact is that if you are safely able to leave her in another part of the house while you’re doing something and that makes you more comfortable, give it a try.

I personally have no trouble just answering as many times as the questions are asked.

Many families encounter the refusal to enter residential care, and if the decision is based on your mom’s safety and physical and mental well being, getting her there becomes just the business of getting her what she needs.

She may be angry, perhaps furious. She may scream, swear, accuse you of injuring her or stealing from her. In losing memory, she has lost at least some degree of reasoning and control of herself. All of the anger will be coming from her illness, not from what she really feels about you.

Taking care of her and getting the services she needs may be the hardest job you ever do. She is fortunate to have you.

Be sure to take good care of yourself too.