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Our Mom with dementia wants to move out of an ALF in Sothern California and live with one of her 6 children. However each of us knows that we placed her there, because none of us can give her the kind of 24/7 care she needs. The last six months she has been living in a private room, receiving good respectful care, including diabetes care, in a secure and safe environment to live in.


I got a call yesterday from the ALF that she tried to exit the property. A caregiver intervened and Mom said a friend is going to pick her up, and she’s going to live with her. Mom was gently persuaded to return and she did. The Director wanted to give me a warning that her dementia is worsening and that she may need to move into a locked facility.


Moving into a locked facility is not financially feasible, so we would have to apply for Medicaid/Medi-Cal. It would also mean giving up her private room, which would entail a huge adjustment for her. So I immediately texted and called my siblings to explain the problem. Later that evening my brother called Mom to explore what happened from her viewpoint. Mom replied that she just told the caregiver that, but she was celebrating Christmas with her daughter and husband.


Up to this point, I have not wanted her to have a television and DVD player. The facility has a TV in the activity room, but mom will not watch it - she wants it in her own room. In the past she fiddles with the buttons and I do not have the technical capacity and time to fix things when I visit.


Given the current predicament, I am trying to find creative alternatives to avoid the burden of applying for Medicaid/Medi-Cal and finding another facility that will accept an Assisted Living Waiver. I understand having her sedated is a way to keep her from leaving, but I would like to avoid that if possible.


I am thinking that the right kind of TV situation in her room might be an alternative way to sedate her. I do not want her to access the news - especially todays news. In the past it has only worsened her moods.


Does anyone knows of a super simple-to-use and affordable TV/DVD combo?


Does anyone know who I can reach out to who can set up a TV with a loop of movies customized for movies she remembers? If so please leave a link.

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Does she have cable or internet access? A smart TV with streaming media might work. Does she know how to operate a DVD player or remote? If not, won't do much good. Maybe do some research online since u know what to look for.
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I do know of at least one facility in So Cal that has intermediate care available, that is locked cottage that is otherwise the same as ALF, and is not memory care. If you care to PM me I can provide you with the name. I think this will be more common soon for our seniors who don't need MC with its huge costs, but will now wander enough that an unlocked facility no longer works.

As to the TV without news, would that there were. I would surely get one. But I know of nothing and hope others have an idea for you.

Good luck to you.
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You can get a tv that has parental controls so that if she uses a remote she won't be able to access blocked news channels. Having a remote that she won't remember how to use or can hide/lose may turn into a headache for you and the staff.
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My Mom rarely stayed in her room. Actually the staff liked it better when she was in the common area where there was a TV. She never watched much TV anyway. Most TVs are now remote controlled so no buttons. I also have not seen a DVD player in them. The staff would turn on Moms TV but one time it was the news which she did not need to see. I put it on a channel called ME which played all the old TV shows from the 60s and 70s. If she was in her room all the staff had to do was turn the TV on. I placed the remote behind the TV for the aides but Mom no longer could use it. I don't think the staff would be able to make sure that every two hrs Mom had a new DVD in the player.
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Dad has a TV with 'regular cable' since that is what he is used to. We got him a simple TV remote (search that on Google or Amazon) that only has on/off, volume up/down and channel up/down. Works great.

over on the /dementia subreddit there was a discussion about looping movies. You could go search over there for some info.
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