I live in another state and have been caring for both parents. Where do I begin to move them in with me?

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My mother (77) had a stroke 2 months ago. She is paralyzed on the left side, can't sit up, much less stand. Still at nursing facility. She has around 2 more months at the nursing facility, but there's not much hope of her walking. Since she can't yet sit up without max assist, I'm not even sure she'll be able to transfer which affects toileting as well. My father had a stroke 10 years ago and needs help with personal care. I live in another state and have been caring for them both since her stroke, dividing my day between him at their home and her at the nursing facility. The original plan was for them to come live with me and my family, hiring some nighttime help. If she doesn't improve. I'm not sure how to do everything. They don't qualify for Medicaid, but yet aren't rich.

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You're not sure how to do everything?

I'm not sure how you're not already on your knees.

What would you like the set-up to be?
What would your parents like?
What's the nearest thing you can get to the above combined?
How can it be made practical and affordable?

I should get help and advice from the discharge planner at your mother's facility; and meanwhile earmark possible facilities near you. But if you were still hoping to bring your parents to live with you in your home, bear in mind that there is only one of you, there are only twenty four hours in the day, and you have your own family to consider. You would be creating a full-time workload for 6-8 people.
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Start looking for a facility that will take both of them, yes, starting with a talk with the social worker. Your mom can't go home, and you can't take care of her and your father. DO NOT BRING THEM TO YOUR HOME. DO NOT. unless you have tons of money to hire caregivers. They can go into a facility Medicaid pending. I hope you have various paperwork in order, which you should have had done back when your father had his stroke. Does he have a caregiver at his house? Does he pay out of pocket? That's one way to spend down for Medicaid!
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Talk to the social worker at mom's facility, explain the situation with Dad and see if you can't get them placed at the same facility together. Good Luck.
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Tonya - your parents cannot be left alone. Babalou is right about how many shifts of helpers you will need, at minimum. My MIL who has a neurodegenerative illness has two helpers, one during the week and another on weekends but after they leave around 4 pm, my inlaws are on their own and that schedule works well for now. They live in independent living and a housekeeper cleans their apartment once a week. Meals are also part of their rent. Their apartment is fully ADA accessible.

It's so very much to consider and no one person can do everything. Your home may not be setup for the realities of daily living for two people with serious impairments.

Before my inlaws moved to indy living, we were having grab bars installed in the bathroom until no more fit. We needed a new toilet installed that was higher. But the reality was that the bathroom was too small for a wheelchair or a helper. It was a very difficult time for our family because no one wants their parents to be unsafe.
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Tonya;
If you were to bring two stroke patients home to live with you, you will need three shifts of young, strong caregivers to do the care. Without full time care in the house, you will both injure yourself and burn out quickly.

I think your best bet is to identify a good facility near you that will take them both as private pay, Medicaid Pending. It means that they spend down their resources , paying for their care privately until they qualify for Medicaid.

You need to talk to an eldercare attorney about this. good luck!
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