I've been helping my step-mom for the past 3.5-4 years (she's almost 75). She has a history of alcohol abuse and lost her second husband 2 years ago. She was married to my dad in 1978 and he passed in 1995. We've maintained a relationship all this time, even after she remarried in 2000. She was an only child and has no children of her own. She has 5 step children including myself, but I am the only one who lives close.
She had a fall last March after a night of heavy drinking (this was the worst of numerous falls). She had a pretty serious injury from the fall. Unfortunately, she is now bed-bound. Part of the reason is she did not fully participate in the physical therapy that was offered and Medicare stopped paying. Because she is unable to get out of bed, I had to find a personal care home in her budget. She is on a limited income. The care home is close to me and it's ok, but not great.
She wants to go home so bad (understandable), but she can not get out of bed on her own and can not afford 24/7 care. She has been demanding that I bring her her house keys and states she is going home. She tells me it's not my decision and I can't control her. I've told her, I'd be happy to bring the keys once I know she is ok to go home. Going home now would put her in an unsafe situation. If there were a fire or if someone were to break in, she would not be able to get out or protect herself.
Every time I visit, it turns into her yelling at me. It has completely changed the nature of our relationship. I've been very stressed over this (guilt of course); I'm currently seeing a counselor. I can't imagine how'd she even be able to get herself home, but I know from experience she can be very resourceful. Somehow she was always able to find someone to buy her alcohol when I refused to get it for her.
At any rate, am I wrong for not bringing her keys? If I did, could I be held liable if she somehow found someone to take her to her house? I'm really struggling with this. I believe I'm doing the right this as being at her house would put her in danger. It's just so stressful though to be yelled at and I'm so incredibly sad that we just aren't able to have pleasant visits.