Follow
Share
Find Care & Housing
THIS IS REPLY TO AHMIJOY - I'm not sure why it came up as a separate post

I guess I mean that I want to help her emotionally because she is getting great care where she is. I've gotten some good ideas already, thanks
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Adultstepchild
Report

Go with those MD crab cakes if she can eat them,, we do make the only ones worth eating,, lol I also used to hand cream, leg cream, nail polish my MIL when I visited.. just being touched is a blessing for many of our elders
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to pamzimmrrt
Report
Adultstepchild Apr 26, 2019
thanks much!!
(0)
Report
We really need more info. Your profile says she has ALS. This becomes a very debilitating desease. Is she in a nursing home? It really depends on where she is in the desease. Maybe call a family member and ask what you can do. What are her favorite things to eat. Read, if she is capable. I would read up on the desease.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
Adultstepchild Apr 26, 2019
I have read up on it & it IS devastating. I saw her in November in the Nursing Home & mentioned that at least her mind is still sharp. She said she wished it wasn't because she is aware of what her body is doing to her :-(

She has been in a special wheelchair since before November 2018. She is now wearing braces on both legs & 1 arm. She has to be put into bed & is also now wearing a BiPAP.

Sorry I didn't give more info to start.
(0)
Report
There are lots of things to do during your visit. I don't see much about your step mom's issues but here are generic thoughts.
- Surreptitiously check her out from top to bottom to be sure there aren't bruises, bed sores or other indications of lack of care.
- Help reorganize her clothing in drawers and closets. Is there a place for her winter items during the warmer months? Check all items for missing buttons, tears, etc. If no one is living near to her, you may need a shopping trip to replace some items. Bring some sewing things with you for minor repairs.
- Can you take her on an outing during your visit? When my sister came from out of state, the 2 of us would take my Mom out for ice cream at a lovely parlor. I wasn't able to do this by myself but with my sister we could! I have great photos and memories of these outings. Ditto on taking her to a playground to watch the kids on swings etc.
- Watch to see what she needs. A nice hand cream? A magazine? (One of my doctor's would give me his very large expensive fashion magazines that were 3 months old.- we would look at them together)
- Can you bring a laptop and skype with other family members she might enjoy 'visiting'?
- If you can't take her out for a meal or treat, bringing in a special food item would be nice. I brought my Mom a strawberry sundae and it was worth a million dollars in her enjoyment. Bring something for yourself too! : - )
- Bring her to the NH salon for a hair and nail day . You can also leave money in her account for future visits. BTW giving the beautician a tip will keep your loved one on her good terms.
- Sitting with her you can massage her hands, arms, legs, feet with creams. Staff never has time for that!
- Clean up her room. Things have a way of collecting. Staff doesn't want to throw away a resident's possessions, but you can review and see if she needs to hold on to Christmas cards from 4 years ago.
- Bring a treat for the aides/staff. I would occasionally leave a treat for the break room. And I always brought a note thanking them for their care of my Mom. Signed it with myMom's name and room number and added ' and her family'.
_ Take photos for both of you to remember the visit.
Have fun and enjoy your special visit, hope some of these ideas hit the mark
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to geewiz
Report
Adultstepchild Apr 26, 2019
I have found some suggestions of framed pic of us, books on CD, scarves & a book holder. I have texted her daughter to see if she would be able to eat a crab cake. She loved the ones I'd had sent to her for her birthdays ( she had previously complained that TN doesn't really make MD crab cakes - guess it's the Old Bay ;-) )

Seems she can't do too much for herself anymore & that's a 180 from the way she used to be. My dad (her husband) passed in 2005 & she moved from MD to TN a few years ago to be closer to her sisters, but they don't seem to be able to get to visit her too often. Her daughter lives within an hour of the NH but both her sons live here in MD.

It doesn't look likely that I will be able to take her out since she is in a special wheelchair & I no longer have strength in my shoulders due to rotator issues. I liked the idea of massaging her hands, feet & legs with lotion, thanks :-)
(0)
Report
Does she have other family or friends who go to see her? If so, ring them and ask for their suggestions.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to MargaretMcKen
Report
Adultstepchild Apr 26, 2019
yes, her daughter lives less than an hour away & has been taking care of her house for her since she's been in the Nursing Home (NH). Unfortunately she (step-sister) lives with her ass of a husband & she isn't as open about things when he's around (we've discussed this before, no physical abuse). I feel bad for her since she's doing so much running around for her mom, but living so far away, it's hard to be of much help :-(
(0)
Report
I’m not certain what you mean by “help her” when you visit. If she is being cared for in a facility, the staff there should meeting her needs. You certainly should not be asked to do personal care for her. Maybe bring some photo albums if you have them, dine with her, or just sit and visit. If she likes having her nails done, being a bottle of polish and paint her nails.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Ahmijoy
Report

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter