Dad has Dementia, diagnosed almost 18 months ago and living with my family since the death of his wife, my stepmother, last year. At the time of her death Dad was in a rest home and wasn't aware his wife was even sick until the eve of her death (she hid her condition from him for a month or so to avoid unsettling him). Now he is focused on her death every day. Most of the time he remembers that she died but requires confirmation and will ask up to a dozen times a day "She died didn't she?" He then becomes very sad and will often recount his actions at the funeral when he placed his hand on her coffin. It's worrying me as it is consistent sadness. I've heard of people deflecting a dementia sufferer’s questions about a relative’s death so that they are not experiencing the same intensity of grief over and over each time the query comes up but this doesn’t appear to be an option because Dad knows she died but each time he asks for confirmation it's like it's brand new to him. This morning I quite forcefully told him that once he had that confirmation and had felt the grief a little he then needed to move onto thinking about those happy memories he had of her. I told him I understood that he was always going to be sad about her passing and that I would always be there to listen when he talked to me about it but that by reliving it several times a day he would always be in a sad place when he needs to be enjoying his twilight years as much as he possibly can. Obviously with short term memory loss I'm going to have to repeat that statement a few times - but he actually does have a tendency to eventually remember some things - not that they've been said but the general meaning of what's been said. Before his wife’s death I had success in getting him to move forward past the grief with another sad situation in his life (the death of my mother when I was a child). I did this by constantly repeating to Dad that it wasn't his fault, that Mum's fight with depression was the cause of her death and that the catalyst could have been just about anything. It’s worked in that Dad no longer blames himself for her death but unfortunately, he still feels sad even though he now believes that Mum was totally to blame because she thought he did something he now adamantly believes he didn't do (he did but we don't tell him that of course). I'm hoping I can get him to eventually focus on the happy memories rather than the very sad ones so he can feel a bit of peace. Does anybody have any suggestions as to how to work with him to help this happen?