I put him in absorbent ones and now he won't change them and his urine is really strong so the odor is bad. If I try to get him to change he can get violent. Any one have any help for me?
swinheim, what worked for me while taking care of my dad was going into the bathroom with him every time he went so that I could change his pull-ups, do whatever hygiene care was necessary, and insist that he wash his hands -- a dozen times a day and several times in the night. After a few years of that I came to realize that I couldn't continue to live with so little sleep and exercise, so I moved him to the best memory care I could find close enough to me that I could visit him daily. I remained his primary caregiver, but the extra sleep and 10-mile daily bicycle ride improved both my health and my patience with him. We both quickly adjusted to our new routine and all the well-trained, extra hands helping us. Best wishes.
The only suggestions I have are...if gets violent, call 911...and let them take him to the ER, then advise them that you cannot take him back home, work with social worker and find a home to place him in. This is best for him and you both, you are in over your head, and he will continue to get worse.
It may be time to think about placing your husband into Memory Care now, especially if he's becoming violent! You simply cannot continue putting yourself in harm's way for ANY reason at ALL. Call his doctor right away and let him know of the new situation that's developed so maybe some medication can be prescribed to calm him down in the meantime. If worse comes to worse, call 911, have him sent to the ER and tell them you can no longer handle your husband at home. The least of your problems is his incontinence issue right now.
Go tour some local Memory Care communities where he can be cared for 24/7 by a team of people specially trained in how to deal with dementia.
Go tour some local Memory Care communities where he can be cared for 24/7 by a team of people specially trained in how to deal with dementia.
Good luck!