My husband is almost 79, and he’s been in the hospital three times this year with congestive heart failure. He’s lucid and doesn’t have memory issues (he’s been screened for those and passed). But his attitude has been a problem for the past four years since he had a quadruple bypass in 2015.
He’s supposed to walk as much as he can. He has peripheral artery disease to and has had vascular surgery in his lower legs. He has a walker and he loathes it. I buy him “handsome” canes and he doesn’t use them. So he falls and I can’t lift him. Now he is about to be discharged from rehab and he says he’s going to make all these lifestyle changes but I have heard that before. He doesn’t seem to want to push through the actual work of turning things around. Before he left for the last hospital stay he sat around the house silently with his head bent down to his chest all the time. Once or twice I thought he was dead! He rarely bothered lifting his head. He wouldn’t go in the living room because he said it was too cold, but I’m always hot and it’s summer! I can’t remove my skin. He seemed to be withdrawing from life. I don’t remember the last time we slept together. He was sleeping upright in a living room chair (after I turned off the A/C, and the PT just told him she wants him sleeping in a bed with his legs above his heart, which he tried in the past but stopped because “it hurts.”
He really doesn’t listen to me when he’s home and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. We will have home care and in-home PT until he’s deemed ready for outpatient PT. I want to help him but my heart is so low right now.
I realize that lots of you are in tougher situations than this but this is starting to feel overwhelming.
I couple of months ago I booked a first class trip for us to Hawaii for October (we honeymooned there in 1988, and the first class bit is for ease of mobility and comfort rather than luxury - it’s a LONG flight from NJ to Maui, even though we are overnighting in San Francisco - and yes, I bought travel insurance.) I don’t want to cancel it just yet. I don’t know whether he sees that as a goal or just more pressure. He’s not very communicative.
Well, I’m babbling. Happy Independence Day to those who are celebrating and “thank you” to everyone.