A friend in our support group is struggling with the issue that her husband no longer cleans himself after a bowel movement. Can anyone offer some helpful suggestions on how to address this issue. He does not want help!

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Baby wipes will offer more ability to clean than toilet paper. He should be helped with these ideally but a lined waste basket near by is a good start.
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Reply to Riverdale

First of all, invest in a box of latex gloves. She should not be handling this without them. My husband (no dementia) insists in having a descriptive conversation of the process. I offered to purchase a miner’s helmet with a light to “look up there” and a Go-Pro to video the entire process.

On some level, even as far down the slippery slope of dementia our loved one slides they still know they’re being tended to like a child, especially in the bathroom. It’s time to start talking about sports, the grandkids, anything to take his mind off what’s being done until it’s finished. There’s no argument. It’s the time to “pull rank” and say “the longer you fuss the longer this will take”.
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Reply to Ahmijoy

I was blunt and told Mom she stunk. Hard when they don't want help.
Even the flushables shouldn't be flushed. Especially if you have a septic system.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Eventually loved ones will be the one cleaning up. There are flushable wipes but they always made me nervous. I would be afraid that they would clog things up. But wipes will be the easiest clean up and less harsh than just toilet tissue. I know there are bidets available but I've never used one.
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Reply to Eyerishlass

There are bidet seats that attach to a regular toilet which might be an option for her. These range from very simple to luxury ones with warm water and a blow dry feature, if you've never heard of them you should check them out online.
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Reply to cwillie

It will be a lost cause. Hubby now needs full supervision by standing outside of the bathroom until he needs to be cleaned up. And it will get worse
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Reply to MACinCT

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