I've read many comments here regarding getting a loved one transported to a facility. I cannot even picture what that will look like for my 93 year old mom - strong personality, confined to wheelchair, mid-stage dementia.
I am the only relative/influencer who will oversee this process.
Taking her to lunch as a distractor while getting her moved in is not an option.
She has good days and bad days. Not sure what to do if moving day turns out to be a "bad" day.
Honestly, I picture a scenario where she will be tied to the roof of the car and transported to the front door of the facility. (Just joking!!!) But you get the idea. I really cannot envision how I am supposed to pull this off.
Help!
Best of luck!
With my LO, the only way I was able to get her to agree to get into the car, go inside, and stay at AL, was that at that time she was able to process what her doctor said. Her doctor told her that she HAD to enter AL. (Reality was that she was not able to live alone due to significant dementia. If LO refused to go, she would have reported it to APS. Doctor told me she would not let this go. So, I worked on the plan, while I cared for her. ) The spin that I put on it with LO was that she was entering for rehab. That she would stay there while she got her medication adjusted, physical therapy for mobility and balance, nutrition on track, (she had lost a lot of weight), etc. And, I would take care of her cat. She didn't like it but, she went. I sense that she secretly was scared and knew she needed AL. She did get all of those things at the regular AL, but, of course, her dementia progressed very quickly and I had to soon move her to a Memory Care unit by doctor's prescription. By this time, she had no issue with going as she had little orientation to time and space.
The regular AL , that she entered first, did tell me that they would not be able to keep her there against her will. They were not a secure facility and while they may be able to delay her leaving, by begging her to let them call me before she left. They could not prevent her from leaving if she called a cab and just left on her own accord.
So, I might get a consult with an Elder Law attorney about where you stand. Even with a Durable POA, you may see some difficulty. I'd get my options. No one wants the sheriff's department to have to transport, but, I'm sure it's sometimes necessary, if someone is completely resistant. I'd be hesitant to physically engage with her, because, either of you could get hurt.
My mom grabbed the steering wheel....once.
From then on, she was transported by professionals.