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I understand you can provide information to them even if they can't acknowledge the person is a patient or give you patient data unless you have their HIPAA release
Are you sure you want to give up that role?
I don't know how to handle this. I hope someone will pop in with a clear-cut answer.
One possibility, and what I would do in your shoes, is to contact the main place where her health care directive is filed -- for example, the clinic of her primary care physician. Explain that you know you are named in your mother's healthcare directive and that you need to withdraw from that role and ask their advice on how to handle this.
Is someone named as a backup or secondary agent? Then if the occasion arises that a decision is needed and you decline to provide it, the secondary can step in.
"No thank you."
"I am sorry but I cannot take on that responsibility."
"I am sorry. I don't think I could in good faith represent carry out your directive."
"I couldn't possibly do that."
"I wish you well, but you'll have to find someone with healthcare views closer to your own to play that role."
Basically, you just say no and give as much or as little of an explanation as you care to.
I hope this is happening before the medical need arises -- that you have been asked while the healthcare directive is being drawn up.
Maybe I am not understanding the question. Can you explain a little more?