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Because of your family's history with fraud about a year ago with your Sil, checking in with the executor now would be a good idea. Except that instead of asking if the will left something for you, approach the subject carefully with the family member saying, something like: "Want to confirm with you that you have the executor role; that my guardianship role is over, and if you need any information I will be glad to help." "After that fiasco with Sil, they may try something, having a fraudulent will or something"
You can do this at anytime. Then ask if there will be a reading of the will, etc.
Do you know if the will has to be probated in the county where she lived?
That would leave the responsible executor very far away, perhaps needing help to file documents, or seeing the attorney in your state.
I am just guessing here, but have heard some executors don't understand it is their duty now.
Sorry for your recent loss Esjoholm.
My parents had trusts, as did my FIL, I don't know about my MIL, but I know she finally made a trust or will, as she didn't realize that NOT having one would be a huge pain for her family. Really, if you have prepared all the documents, I don't see that you ever have to deal with the legal system--UNLESS the estate is worth more than a certain amount and that would vary from state to state. In Utah, it must be over $500,000--since that's about what dad's total estate came to.
As far as "tasteful inquiry"--well, you're the best judge of that! What are the family dynamics? Do you stand to inherit? You don't stand over the grave and discuss this. Hubby had a meeting with his brother and sister while his brother was in town for the funeral. They were all in agreement on everything, so it went smoothly. If you're not the POA, or executor, keep your mouth shut and wait for somebody who has the "power" to let you know. Offer help to do whatever you can to help--but don't look like you're expecting a handout. I agree with Jo Ann, the executor "executes" the will and it will be as he/she feels is in accordance with the deceased. (You can put ANYTHING you want in your will--it does not mean it will just magically happen....the executor has a lot of say and luckily things go smoothly.)
So, while you can't just say, "No probating my estate," you can, in advance, set it up so it won't be required.
Ellen, if you haven't already, check with your County Clerk to see if the will has been filed for probate; if not, contact the cousin and see if there's a problem you might assist with.
Incidentally, a good estate attorney can help make an estate plan that avoids probate, even for a large estate, thus saving lots of money and avoiding all that inventory job. Even so, will beneficiaries should be notified fairly soon.
I was lucky that my Dad's personal possessions were under a Trust and Dad had downsized to an apartment..... if it wasn't I would have needed to find the market value for all his clothes, all the items in the kitchen, the value of the furniture, value of the TV's and radios, value of pictures on the wall, value of coin booklets and stamp booklets, value of expensive glassware my Mom had collected, value of Dad's car [if he still had one], value of Dad's house [if he hasn't sold it prior to passing], value of jewelry, linens, lamps, value of Dad's 200 books, value of all his tools in his workshop, maybe even rolls of Forever Postage stamps, the list goes on and on. It would make anyone want to go running screaming into the night !!
Doing Probate is like having a part-time job, it doesn't stop with just one inventory, some County Probates want an inventory list every month. Receipts and copies of checks written. It is so complex, I am having my Dad's Elder Law Attorney clerks do the work, it is worth having the Estate pay for this help.
Thus, tread lightly when asking the Executor of the Estate if you were mentioned in the Will. You might get a glare that isn't welcoming.
The executor is responsible for tracking down the beneficiaries of a will; so in due course your cousin should get round to notifying you of any legacy due to you.
With my cynical hat on, I would sigh that the correct procedure is to swallow your own tongue with frustration while the executor dillies about doing heaven only knows what for the Rest of Time, apparently unaware that the courtesy of a little information might be appreciated by all concerned.
But doffing that hat: if you're in social contact with your cousin anyway, there's no harm or bad manners in asking what the form is. And if the estate is sizeable or complex or involved, there is a fair bit of work to be done - so you might pat him or her on the head for that, too.
The Court wants to make sure there are no pending creditors out there waiting to be paid. Such as Medicaid. If Medicaid is part of the picture, chances are there could be a lien on the house if the person had owned a house or two.
Where I live, it could take up to a year or more, depending on how complex the Will, and if there is a lot of debt to deal with.
Are you the Executor, or a relative wondering if you were named in the Will?