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It take care of my mom and we go to bed around 9 or 10 at night. She used to wake up on her own around 10. Now she sleeps until around 12. I woke her up yesterday at 10 and all day she just wasn’t herself. People are saying to wake her up.


What do I do? Especially lately there will be times when she is wide awake and won’t sleep for like 2 days. Any suggestions would help.

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Let her sleep as long as she needs.
If she has dementia, her brain is exhausted by every little bit of information it has to process during the day.

Talk to her doctor about medication to help get her onto a consistent sleep routine.
Consistent routine including sleep times will help her. Any changes in routine can make the person anxious or even agitated.

Hang a whiteboard or a sign on which you can write down a daily schedule, including the times and what activity will be done then. It could help her to follow a schedule and anticipate what will come next. And sticking to it will help get her sleeping regularly, even if she needs more sleep.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Seems her sleep rhythm is off. If she goes to bed "on time" and wakes "on time" but is out of sorts, she probably needs more sleep because she may not be getting enough cycles of REM and NREM sleep to help her feel rested. If she wakes during the night and bothers others, she may need medications to help her stay asleep. If she has difficulty falling asleep, there are medications to help specifically with this problem. If she sleeps until noon and is refreshed and able to do things until bedtime, she just needs more sleep. This does happen as people age and their organs slow down.
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Reply to Taarna
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On a humorous note, I remember my boyfriend asking what would happen if we did not every wake Mom up....he wondered if she would sleep solid for 3 days?

Mom has worked hard all of her life. Let her sleep.
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Reply to brandee
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Leave her alone to sleep when she can.
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Reply to Evonne1954
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My mom (92) sleeps a lot too. Most everyone here says let the person sleep but my concern is this: All (6) of her meds are to be taken in the morning. If she sleeps as long as she wants, that throws her schedule off for her meds. How should I handle that?
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MiaMoor May 24, 2025
Why do they have to be taken in the morning?
As long as there are a certain number of hours between meds, then it shouldn't matter when they are taken.

Some medication is recommended to be given at certain times because of side effects which cause a person to do things that could be awkward at the wrong time, such as needing the bathroom, or becoming sleepy. That's no longer an issue, since your mum's sleep pattern has changed so drastically.

Thyroid medication works best if taken an hour before breaking fast, for instance, so it's taken as soon as a person wakes up.

However, if your mum is now sleeping most of the time, keeping her at optimal health is no longer possible. It's time for acceptance. Perfection is not to be had.

If it were my mum, I would try waking her in the morning to take her tablets, then let her fall back to sleep. If that's not possible, then I would leave her be and accept the situation.
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I’m in a similar position. My mums so exhausted she’s suddenly housebound and I just can’t accept it. She barely has time for me anymore💔
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Reply to Kathy7788
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I'm with the "let her sleep" group. Not a bad idea to check with her dr. How lo ng has she has Alzheimer's?
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Reply to golden23
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This was back in the year 2014 around May. My mother was 94, and she slept 20 hours daily until her death at age 95 that in November.
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Reply to Patathome01
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Talk to her doctor. She might have dementia or some brain issue that is preventing her from getting decent sleep. She might be waking up a lot at night without you knowing it.

....however, you also describe a person who potentially has a bipolar disorder.

Talk to her doctor and see what he says. Is it possible to install cameras to see what happens at night while you are sleeping?

My Mom also slept a lot during the day. She couldn't hear well, so I know it wasn't sounds that was keeping her awake at night. It turns out that the dementia was waking her up. Waking her up from her sleep invoked aggressive responses from her. When we had caregivers for her (because she was a fall risk), they recorded the number of times she would get up from her bed and go to the bathroom (generally 20-30 times a night). She only remembered waking at the most 2 times, however, generally felt lackluster during the day. So I changed it up and took her in the car with me to do errands. She slept really well in the car which improved her moods and her feelings, and the ability to function rationally. The only issue was me...there were just so many errands I could do. I used to tell the caregivers, my Mom sleep walks, sleep talks and sleep eats.
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Reply to ChoppedLiver
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She’s old. Let her sleep.
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Reply to LoopyLoo
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It is the Lord who giveth sleep. Now I lay me down to sleep and I pray to God my soul to keep. If I should die before I awake, I pray to God my soul to take. There is asleep unto weariness, asleep unto comfort, and asleep unto the final coming. How many of us are here today who long for sleep but cannot find it.
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Reply to johnawheeler
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LoopyLoo May 23, 2025
Agreed, but has nothing to do with this post at all. 🙄
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It really depends. There are many factors. But have a doctor check. My wife would like to sleep a lot all her life, but in the last few months of her life, she slept more and more each day. She slept for three straight days before she died.
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Reply to Sample
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After you have ruled out a UTI or other health issue, then let her sleep.
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Reply to NinjaWarrior3
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As a person declines and is closer to the End of Life they will sleep more, sleep longer.
It is one of the declines that Hospice will use to indicate that a person can remain on Hospice.
My Husband went from sleeping a "normal" 8 to 10 hours to sleeping 14 to 16 hours then eventually the last year of his life a typical day was sleeping 20 hours the last month or so it was typical for him to sleep 22 + hours waking briefly for a bed bath, brief change or to eat.
If your mom is not on Hospice you might want to look in to getting her evaluated for Hospice. You will get help, equipment and supplies delivered. A Nurse each week and a CNA about 2 times a week.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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HappyNana70 May 23, 2025
This happened with my recently deceased husband. Luckily but confusion for me and doctor thinking he was not so bad - and not a "rally" since daily - he got up to use urinal jug or with walker go to toilet at home (and his last 2 hospital admissions).

At home I would sit on the edge of his bed and talk to him and he said he was OK enough and just tired but the lengthy sleeping was one of the end of life signs.

For anyone in this situation just talk to them throughout the day and if not in hospice or supportive care then reach out to their doctor.

Waking gently to check on them is what I did.

Support and strength to all of you. Be as well as you can be yourself.
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Have her blood pressure sugar tested
enough water
check medications of too strong
maybe doctor review needed
is anyone spending enough time with her
can you put on a tv or radio
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Reply to Jenny10
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MiaMoor May 24, 2025
If she needs to sleep, neither the TV nor radio would make a jot of difference.
This pattern of sleeping most of the day is normal.
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Please let her sleep. Being sleep deprived is so horrible. You would not want someone waking you up if you are sleeping comfortably.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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My mom sleeps 18-20 hours a day. We get her up, in the recliner and she sleep. She sleeps before and after eating and is only active if she has a UTI. This has been going for 4 years.
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LucyImHome May 23, 2025
Four years! Wow!!
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My wife is 69 and has had the same sleep patterns but with bad restless leg and agitation at night. I started giving her melatonin at night with her normal pills and saw a marked change. Sleeping much better, waking up on her own around a normal time. Things have worked well for 6 months, recently though she has started getting restless leg again and starting to sleep a bit later.
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Starfish2295 May 23, 2025
My husband also has restless legs and I found Magna Life has a cream to apply at bedtime. It works very well for him.
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Let her sleep. Dementia causes changes in the sleep cycle because of the changes taking place in the brain. Elderly people sleep more as they get older anyway and have irregular sleep patterns.

People who don't understand the illness will usually give poor advice.

All I can say is just make sure that she gets her meals and daily activities of living when she is awake and feeling up to it. Don't try to force anything if she doesn't feel up to it. If she eats very little, offer smaller meals during her wake time.
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Reply to Scampie1
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Kathy7788 May 23, 2025
I have been encouraging mum to go out but maybe you are right don’t push her if she wants to withdraw at home
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Your profile says that your mom has dementia, and that can be very exhausting for her and her brain, so I am on the "let her sleep" train.
Folks with dementia tend to sleep more and more as their dementia progresses, so ignore the folks that are telling you to wake her up. They haven't a clue as to what they're talking about.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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My mom is going thru the same thing right now and I am always checking to make sure she isn't awake and just waiting for help. She has always been a door locker and very private. The past few days she has been less so and I have seen that she is having difficulty getting in and out of bed easily. I am always conflicted about whether it is better to encourage her to get moving and help her to the bathroom, or let her sleep in. Sleep has been winning more often in these recent days and accidents are not as much an issue now she is wearing night time Depends.
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Reply to SteadyD
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Just let her sleep. This is what she wants to do at this stage of her life. My father sleeps all the time. He falls asleep frequently during my visits. I just leave him to it.

Your mother has earned the right to sleep whenever she wants and for as long as she wants.

Waking her up is not going to fix her situation.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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How old is your mother?
What is your mother's physical condition and when was the last time you saw the doctor with her?

I would discuss this with the doctor, but if you stay and read on Forum you will also understand that as aging and dementia increase it becomes more and more a matter of less food intake and more (MUCH more) sleeping.

Exercise is crucial to keeping bones strong, balance better, appetite good, tendons stretches, and skin free of pressure sores. So when awake she must be active as she is able to be. But otherwise, there is little reason for her not to be at rest now, until she passes.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Let her sleep.
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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