We have been caring for MIL at home for the past 6 years who needs around the clock care because of dementia. We have managed to share responsibilities with other siblings/ caregivers but most of the responsibility falls on us as I am married to a middle child who was very close to his mother. LOVE THE MAN! We are in our mid 30's and lower 40's. and still building a family. We have infertility issues that have not been addressed because of all the time this illness has taken from us. Finally husband and I are getting treatment and will be soon starting a family . THANK GOD! We cant afford to stop working so I am a little concern about the future, our relationship, bringing a baby to the world in this situation.
We have so much in our plate but at the same time I am getting older and dr. advise my egg count is very low so we need to hurry up. This puts more pressure. Putting her in a home is not an option . There are times he goes into her house for 2 weeks because the other siblings cant cover. This of course brings a lot of stress.
What I would like to know is the following:
1. Has anyone try to raise a family, work and care for a dementia patient at the same time? How? Results?
2. How long can we expect her to be around? Is it bad that I even think about this? Feeling guilty.
She has been wearing diapers for the past 2 yrs and needs everything done for her. During the night she will not sleep and will talk nonstop which is making caring for her very difficult. Sometimes she does not want to eat and is losing mobility.
-No other health conditions
3. How can we manage her sleep pattern better without increasing medication and what are the consequences ?
4. How do you reduce her having to pee so much at night? We put a tick pad inside diaper, she will still wet the bed and then take diaper off and pee more and sometimes the #2
5. How do you keep your sanity?
6. How do you set healthy boundries and admit your limitations?
This illness is the worst. I married the love of my life at age 27 and for the past 8 yrs have supported him through his mom's illness but I also belive he needs a family for when she is gone and don't want us to lose that opportunity and fall into bitterness later. Will appreciate your advice.