Endstage COPD and Hospice, how long will the ups and down go on?


My dad was admited to hospce two weeks ago and is at home. We have a hired an aid to live there Monday - Friday but the weekends are up to family. It is already a tremendous burden and we are all suffering? Dad has good days where he is totally alert and knows everything that is going on. Then there are days were he looks like he is on death's door. He is under 80 lbs, has low blood pressure. Urine is very very dark. He is on morphine every 4 hours, mucinex, stool softener and oxygen 24/7. He is completely bedridden. Our nerves are shot. Can this go one for months? My mother has Parkinsons and is no help and actually caused my borther and I to have even more stress. It's only been 4 weeks since this all began. We do know my father had trouble breathing for at leat 3 years and was able to function. I don't want to lose my father but this is no life for him.

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Of course your nerves are shot, or course you passionately look forward to an end. This is likely one of the most stressful things you will go though in life.
Nobody knows how long - likely not too long. Just wanted to reach out to you to wish you, your brother, mother and father well. May God bless you and be with you through this tough time.
Take Care
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When the urine looks like coffee, you are very close to the end. Godspeed.
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Lori, so sorry to read about your Dad.... the best source of information would be from the people who work Hospice. They have probably seen these type of cases in the past, thus can drawn upon their experiences.

What is extra hard on your Dad is that your Mom has Parkinson and now he feels that he cannot help her.

In my Mom's case [98 had major head trauma due to a fall] when she needed Hospice care, she was placed in long-term-care which worked best for our own family need. That way my Dad could visit her for a half hour or an hour, depending on how she was doing. It would have been very tough for him to see Mom like that at home 24/7. We also didn't know how long Mom would continue to survive as it was good one day, not so good the next. Hospice gave us an estimate. And once Mom was near her final days, Hospice was able to give us 24-48 hour notice.
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