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I want a simple grave service as I can't stand for the children that have treated him horribly. Reason 80 yr old sick parent stopped supporting them.

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Many options are available. A "regular" funeral. A private graveside service. A memorial service. It can be as public or private as you wish.

If the deceased has expressed wishes for what should be done, and has left the money to pay for it, I personally would respect those wishes.

It sounds like in this case the "old sick parent" does not want a ceremony with his children present. If that is the case I'd opt for something simple and private.

My cousin had a large elaborate celebration for her mother's 100th birthday. Relatives and friends came from some distance to see her. Great mementos were on display, the the cap she received when she graduated from nursing school at age 63! It was a wonderful celebration. Several months later my dear aunt died, and the cousin sent out notices that the funeral service would be private for immediate family only. This made perfect sense to me!

So there are a lot of reasons for having an invitation-only funeral or memorial service or graveside ceremony. Some of them are happy, and some of them are sad. But it is up to the next of kin.
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Second123, it depends on what the love one wanted in a way of a funeral. If he/she wanted an all relatives present type of funeral you should honor that request.
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