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Practically every night I check his pull up before getting him in bed...he's wet so I change him in bathroom & get him cleaned up. Within less than 2 minutes after getting all situated in bed he whispers Babe...I answer and he says I need to go pee. I go back to him & repeat. Then 5-15 minutes later he tells me again. He's wet again! This happens up to 7 times a night. I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm advised to sleep when he sleeps but this isn't always possible due to other obligations. I thought of diapers but those are such a hassle and besides that when he needs to pee or is wet he automatically wants or does get out of the bed. Oh his nurse says don't give him anything to drink after 6 pm...it still happens. Suggestions?

Sounds like the problem I had. I kept "score" for three consecutive nights. Each of those three nights I was up more than 15 times. It was an enlarged prostate problem which was solved by surgery, Sorry, I cannot recommend my surgeon. Good luck.
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I thing I would use dyper and talk to the doctor let him have sleeping pill and Ask the doctor what do I do with a overactive bladder..Im.sure theres medacation to help him..sleep..and the doctor could help with that problem over active bladder..
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Reply to Charlia
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He feels the urges and that's relatively good, insomuch that he can feel it and he's not completely numb. There are bedside urinal containers for men readily available online for ordering, or at your local medical supply store, or family doc may have some for you. They sometimes have them at drug stores, too.

Why not give him those and he can "go" in there at night when he's in bed, and all he has to do is sit up and get things in the right place, he can urinate, then lie right back down. He can do it as often as he needs to. In the morning, he can take the containers to the bathroom and flush.

My dad did something like this throughout his ordeal with urinary incontinence. He was ultimately FIXED through having two different laser surgeries where the docs went in and made a better opening in his pipes around the prostate area. If your hubs doesn't have a urologist, I'd suggest making an appointment and getting some tests done. It could very well be he doesn't have to live like this, and can get some help for his frequent urges.
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Jessie7410 Aug 20, 2018
Yes this would work if he didn't have Alzheimer's. Thanks. But since last week these episode's has stopped and he sleeps thru the night. He's soaked by 9 am so this makes things much easier for now. Alzheimer's sucks
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What about condom catheters? check them out as that is what paramedics use - use only at night to get sleep for both of you - he must be pretty tired too & that can lead to other issues
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Jessie7410 Aug 20, 2018
Tried it and within less than 2 hours he pulled it off 😕
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It sounds to me like you need to sleep - to be there [functional and not burn out] during the days for your husband. I'd suggest getting a care provider in-house for overnight care and you sleep elsewhere (even on a sofa is that if all you have). Even 5-6 hours of straight sleep will help you immensely to function and not wear you out day-after-day. I realize this may be a financial burden and a huge change in your lifestyle. (Try finding a nursing student at a college.) Think about yourself and the long term. This situation is likely not going to get better. You certainly need a washable bed protector, along with disposal ones on top of that. Make sure he has a safety rail on the bed in case he gets out of bed on his own (sleepy) to avoid him falling (doesn't have to be a hosp bed). You likely need to make some major changes in his care to take care of both of you - doesn't mean it is easy. Means you need to insure you are as whole and healthy as you can be for your own quality of life, while taking loving care of him, too. Gena.
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Lockett. I appreciate your response but no way in hell would I put him in a facility. I know how the patients are taken care of and I will not just throw him away like that. He wouldn't last very long without me.
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FriendlyBedGuy. YES I was doing research online and found what you are talking about and I believe this is the answer. I will be contacting his Dr Monday morning about this. Thanks so much and am feeling blessed that I found this page!! ❤❤
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This can be related to "nocturia" which is the urge to urinate many times a night. I typically run into it with my calls from folks with Parkinsons (60% of them have it). Often the wife (usually) is getting up close to 10 times a night to help their spouse get in/out of bed (or reposition in bed) and are ready to crash. Every person needs the quality sleep that comes from REM stage sleep- and if a person is getting woke up often they never get to that "deep sleep". Helping a person get up (or changing Depends or handling a urinal) all disrupts the sleep cycle. A urinal spill or changing the bedding adds a lot more work. Often people will put a bedside commode next to a SuperPole or balance pole of a Friendly Bed. If a person can use the equipment to safely/independently stand/pivot onto commode, do their business, and pivot back into bed why would a spouse need to wake up? Plus if a person never has to let go of a sturdy pole how can they fall? Walks to the bathroom (when sleepy, weak, medicated, and in the dark) is very dangerous- especially if many times a night. I don't know if this suggestion applies in your case as it needs a person to be mentally cognizant of their surroundings- not a fit if a person is in deep dementia/alz. Lots of good suggestions were offered but sometimes assistive products can be the missing piece of the puzzle for safely and quality of life (and sleep). Always happy to offer suggestions.
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I am not sure I know the answer but I do know this. You MUST GET YOUR SLEEP AND YOU CANNOT CONTINUE TO KEEP GETTING UP or something is going to happen to YOU. I don't know his mental state but for a start, you can FIRMLY tell him he MUST wear diapers and get the kind that he won't feel the wetness. They are out there. Another idea, money permitting, is to get someone to care for him during the night hours. As to getting out of bed if you can't solve it any other way, please look into renting a hospital bed with bars so he can't get out and fall or have some accident. Finally, if nothing works, it may be time to place him. Sad but true. You are only human and you have YOUR life to live now.
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Reply to Lockett2166
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There are many possible solutions:
#1 The liquid consumption could be cut back to an earlier time.
#2 Urinal
#3 Bedside commode
#4 Medication for frequent urination
#5 His Alzheimer's is, of course, now controlling his brain.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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AVVO makes a supplement that help with frequent urination and there is also a supplement for men called Better Man.
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Bed side comode helps .
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The Michael J Fox foundation had a webinar about this very problem just yesterday. I listened to it. Two Drs. answered questions by a moderator for an hour. Chock full of advice abt. meds, UTIs, large prostate, frequent urgency, etc.

mjff/webinars.com. if wrong address, just google Michael j Fox foundation webinars.
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Have you tried having him use a Urinal? They even make one that can be used sitting on the side of the bed.

For 2 years I had the same situation as you, but instead of pull-ups, I just let him sleep 'commando' and when he had to get up and go, I got him up and he went. He woke me pretty much every hour. Instead of Depends, I bought washable Bed Pads for all the furniture, not just the bed. I covered the couch with a waterproof sheet because he wound up sleeping on the couch during the first year and I put a daybed into the living room the 2nd year. I know, it isn't easy - but they can't hold it for the time it takes to take down the pull-ups. So we just didn't use them. It was only the 2 of us and we rarely if ever got company. I just told the truth, DH is uncomfortable with company.

Like you, I was not getting enough sleep. It was suggested by a "health-nut friend" to try Ashwagandha and my goodness but it helped me immensely - it allowed me to fall back asleep and awaken in the morning feeling rested! It also cut down the stress without taking drugs. Ashwagandha is a root - you can look it up.

Good luck honey - I know you need it.
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Reply to RayLinStephens
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ask doctor if it’s ok to give him Saw Palmetto. It’s an herbal supplement that many men with an enlarged prostate take and find it makes a significant difference in the frequency of urination.
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Reply to Macroo
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An enlarged prostate could be the problem. Prostate surgery might solve the problem. You are lucky that you did not live with me. There were several nights when I had to get up more than 15 times. Surgery solved my problem.
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My husband had a stroke quite a few years ago and now I have the same problem with nights and him having to go to the bathroom often. He cannot get out of bed by himself so I am called most every night to help him when he needs to go potty. I hold the urinal for him until he finishes and then back to bed. We have tried numerous things in order for me to get more sleep but nothing really works. Now he stays up later than I do so at least I get a few full sleep hours before he goes to bed and that helps. I work full time so sleeping when he sleeps is not an option for me. The way to make it a little easier on you is to try different things and you will find something that works for your situation. Stay strong :)
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Joylala Aug 18, 2018
Marlene you need to get enough sleep to keep your self healthy its not your husband fault all you.is an overnight shift care giver so you dont put yourself at a risk of having heart disease get private care care giver
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My husband was having a similar problem. We asked the urologist for a condom catheter which has helped him get more sleep as well as me.
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In healthy young people, a hormone called antidiuretic hormone stops the kidneys making much urine during sleep. With age, the body makes less of this hormone, so the kidneys make as much or even more urine during sleep as they do in the day. This means the bladder will need to be emptied more often through the night.
As mentioned, the condom catheter is a great choice. We used it with my FIL. We learned though, that we had to tape it to the body to keep it from falling off. Without the tape we had a leak about once a week. After taping we had a leak once every 2-3 months. We used Omniflex, Hypafix or other similar tape, because regular medical tapes did not adhere to the silicon condom. A technician at the urologists office measured him for the size. Unfortunately the urologist did not recommend this, but was happy to help when I asked if this was a possibility. I believe he felt that there are a lot of leaks with it, and other patients had found it unsatisfactory. It was discouraging at first, but with our own investigating, trial and error we found it to increase the quality of life considerably. As he got full nights of sleep his mental and emotional status improved.
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Reply to fantasmagorical
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My husband gets up numerous times to pee (even before prostate cancer). Now it is worse that ever because of medications that he takes. We quit sleeping in the same room years ago. Sometimes I have to go upstairs to get a good nights sleep.
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My husand is very active at night due to an enlarged prostate. He takes the medication Finasteride and has added the use of a catheter several times a day, especially important before bedtime. Both have given him more control, but he still awakens to pee numerous times during the night. I am a light sleeper so I never got sufficient uninterrupted sleep. I finally bought a comfy cot and put it in my study/studio. After years of sleeping together, neither of us were happy about the arrangement. However, I now get a full night's sleep. When I go to bed, I bless my little cozy haven and when I awake I feel better able to face the day's challenges.... And I'm much less grumpy, which he has come to appreciate. It's a trade-off, but a winning one for us. Hope you find solutions that make your difficult situation more bearable.
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They have meds for an “OVERACTIVE BLADDER.” It could be caused by his prostate or some other ailment that affects the nerves that signal its time to go. The advice about taking a minute or two and try to empty again is what my urologist told me. It really helps, because when it fails to empty, “older” urine stays in the bladder waiting to cook up a hot UTI. He can get really sick very quickly or at least I can.
Hope you get some rest soon.
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I’m so sorry you are going through this. I feel your pain as my husband had to wake several times a night as well and because of problems with his hands I had to wake up to hold the urinal and place him in it. Something I heard recently during a hospital stay is that a nurse asked my husband if he wanted a “condom cath”. I’d never heard of that before even when I was struggling with this issue and asking medical professionals if there was any device or product we could use besides briefs ( which he wouldn’t use). It’s my understanding that it fits over the penis and drains into a bedside bag. If your husband isn’t having problems with his bowels this may be a solution. I know how precious uninterrupted sleep is. God Bless you and prayers are sent your way.
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I had the same problem but now he doesn't get up at all at night and he is soaked in the morning. Is he on a pill that stimulates his frequent urination? My husband was and the doctor took him off of that med and it hasn't stopped him from going. One of the main reasons his physician took him off also was because his blood pressure was very low and once off, his B/P went up. He might have an enlarged prostate which is pushing on his bladder. You should check with his doctor.
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Did I mention he has Alzheimer's? Im wondering if this is part of the problem. Yes he's on anxiety meds too
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Ahmijoy Aug 17, 2018
I’d be willing to bet it’s a part of it. Obsession with things, especially bodily functions is a big part of Alzheimer’s.
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He does have enlarged prostate and is on 2 medications for this. One is to help him urinate. Before getting Rx to help him urinate, he was not going all day long. They did sonogram of his bladder and it was 2 pee sample cups full. they had to put catheter to drain bladder. On follow up dr wasn't listening because he called in RX which I had no reason to question it but then later realized the dr prescribed medication for bladder leakage! Went to his primary next day and is now on 2nd med to help with urinating.
He is not on diuretics.
When he either has the urge he knows he is supposed to go to bathroom but once we get in bathroom, it is like he is confused as to what to do. I have to assist but it doesn't always go into toilet. When I check his pull up it is wet...not always soaked during this time.
He wears the briefs/pull ups...I do not say diapers...I always refer to them as underwear. I put the diaper on him last night at bedtime and that was a hassle (since I just started using them) BUT right after I got it on and went to my bed he started pulling the diaper off (hearing velcro)!! He was wet and wanted to go to bathroom...cleaned him up and put back a new clean pull up since I was running out of energy.
His nurse was the one that suggested to cut off liquids by at least 6 or 630 pm...there have been several days that it works and I get a good nights sleep but not last night!
If he is wet he wants it off!! Even with the liner.
you might try sleeping in a different room - won't work, I tried that! He gets out of bed looking for me. He gets anxiety if I am not in same room as him!
Urinal - no won't work. He is always too late!
Yes I am mainly is sole caregiver - I get 2 afternoons off with a private pay provider and am thankful but evenings are a killer on me!
Thanks everyone for your replies. It is very much appreciated.
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Ahmijoy Aug 16, 2018
Just a suggestion— if he’s missing the toilet, get a urinal and hold it for him. I know from experience that after a while you get pretty good at it. And I wonder if those meds are making him feel like he has to go. How heavy are the briefs when you change them? Hubby’s are really heavy.

Finally, I wonder if your husband might benefit from an anti-anxiety medication. He sounds really anxious about the toilet issue.

Keep us updated on how it’s going. We care.
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Prostate problems in men also causes frequent nighttime urination.
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Reply to anonymous439773
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My husband puts out copious amounts of urine. I could change him every hour on the hour. It shocks me that he is not dehydrated. However, he has a 32oz water cup and I often fill it 3 times a day. I’ve been thinking lately that he needs to cut down on the water and I will ask the visiting physician when she comes tomorrow. Hubby is on diuretics for CHF.

Is your husband passing great amounts of urine as well, or does he simply feel like he has to go? There are medications for overactive bladder. Also, is he staying in the bathroom long enough? He may need to take an extra minute to make sure he’s voided all he can. He may also need to be tested for a urinary tract infection. There usually are no symptoms other than “anxious” behaviors in those with dementia. It’s a simple urine test.

Does he wear adult incontinent briefs or not? (Please don’t call them diapers to his face..I’ve been told more than once by medical personnel that’s insulting to the person.). You said in the beginning of his post that you change his pull-up but then you mention they’re a hassle. They are, but so is being asleep on your feet trying to help someone use the toilet.

Holding back liquids after 6PM isn’t going to cause him to become dehydrated or make much difference at all. However, if he spends his days drinking coffee and tea or even juices, you need to cut down on those during the day. I know my husband voids so much because he drinks so much.
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If you don't have this problem during the day I wonder if one of his meds is causing him to go all night - is he taking a diuretic? Cutting off fluids in the evenings is advice that is commonly given by those who don't know what they are talking about, have you mentioned any of this to his doctor? Since you are his primary caregiver your health concerns must take priority, if you are fuzzy
headed from lack of sleep or become ill who will care for him?

As for strategies - you could ask about giving him something that would help him sleep and/or buy better, more absorbent night time incontinence pull ups or briefs so that even if he does urinate he doesn't wake you. (Be sure to cover the mattress with a waterproof cover and top with washable mattress pads)
-you might try sleeping in a different room so you aren't hyper aware of his every move.
-could he use a urinal without your assistance? or a bedside commode?
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