She could recover from this although it would not be a complete recovery but she has made up her mind. She has started refusing food, drink, and medication including her pain meds. When we brought her home from the hospital in January she had not eaten for 10 days and would have died then. Knowing her love for her dogs we felt she would be happier at home. Within a week we could not keep her down! She wanted to walk and talk all day long! She ate, drank, swallowed all her meds. Now she spits every thing out. She has described in detail where she is going and the house she will live in. She has told me "He is calling her home". She has been on hospice and they have been wonderful! How do we let her go? We can't watch her starve to death! She has become a "failure to thrive" patient. Any tips to help us survive this?

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Thank you for your response. No depression. Still has her sense of humor when she is lucid. And we are looking at it from her perspective and doing our best to cater to her wishes. Her (our) hospice nurse has told us it is awesome that we can find humor and laugh daily about things. We are taking it hour by hour and we take turns running errands. Mom also has a bull and a horse and there are four barn cats that we also take turns doing those chores. My sister is a nurse and has been a hospice continuous care provider so we have had a major leg up on that front. I just am having a hard time watching the weight loss. I can pick her up now and that is what hurts the most.
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It is hard to watch someone lose their will to live. I was faced with knowledge my father had cardiac symptoms a few years after having bypass surgery. I encouraged (in a letter) him to seek medical treatment. His response was he was not going through "that" surgery again. He died at age 58. I could not blame him as he was the one who went through the surgery (after his wife had died of same surgery a year before his). So to answer your question, try and look at it from your mother's perspective. She is the one who has to live the way she is. Since hospice is in place, it sounds like docs agree with this decision. I question though if she is depressed? Or if she is able to make such a decision after a TBI? I have seen veterans do better with much therapy after TBI. It is along road, but they are younger than your mother. Otherwise, if this is the course that has to happen, talk to the hospice nurse. They can help you. Also try to take one day at a time. Its also ok to get away from the situation for a while during the day to do some things which bring you enjoyment. Though you will miss her, talk to her now. Tell her its ok to go....
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