I'm back. Some of you have followed my posts/saga related to caregiving issues with my mom. Here is a link to what I believe is the most recent thread.
She is still at the wonderful ALF that she returned to after the trainwreck attempt to live with/near my oldest brother. Hospice was called in about a month ago. Her weight as of March 4th was 77 pounds.
I just found out yesterday that they don't believe she has eaten for a week. She is still drinking water.
They discovered that she has not been taking her medications (mainly Tylenol and Klonopin for leg cramps), and has instead been accumulating them in a nightstand drawer and under her bed (just tossed under there). They have let her know if she doesn't want to take any or all of the meds, she has every right not to and that there's no reason to go to such lengths.
She has been falling so much that the ALF has increased her level of care to "Gold". Her care level was "Bronze" prior to this change. Which means that she needs to call them whenever she wants/needs to move from one place to another, bathe, use the toilet, etc.
They have made clear to her (because of her ongoing reluctance to accept or ask for assistance) that if she doesn't comply with that, she will not be able to stay there. This increase in care level will also cost her an additional $750/month, though she can move to an available garden (studio/efficiency) apartment for a savings of $750/month, so it would balance out. We had encouraged her to downsize several times over the past year anyway, as the large one bedroom is much more space than she uses or needs. She had told me five or six months ago that she was going to make the change, but that she had to "wait for someone to die" so that a unit would be available. when I asked the ALF about this, they said she told them that I would not allow her to move to the smaller apartment that was available because it was on the 2nd floor and I was afraid there would be a fire.
Anyway, I've been on the phone a lot with the wonderful woman from hospice for the past couple of days. No one is actually saying it, but I suspect my mom is not going to last much longer.
One of the things hospice gently told me yesterday is that I need to provide contact information to them about who should be called should mom pass away. In other words, the funeral home or cremation service place. Mom has always said she wanted to be cremated. I will be making a lot of calls today and asking a lot of questions so that I can make a decision.
Not eating, extremely weak, sleeping a lot... Hospice used the term "passive suicide". When I asked hospice what I should expect, they said there is no way to tell. But I just have a feeling my mom won't last much longer. How do you know when the end is near?