How do you find someone to live with mom or at least be there overnight?

I was a live-in caregiver manager with a staff of four additional people for a couple for 24/7 Care.

I advertised on craigslist too. I put in my parameters of what I was looking for and I didn’t not give out my phone number. I made them respond to me through craigslist first. This way, I could see if they had the intelligence to answer properly. You would be surprised. So I weeded out those people. The ones that had decent replies I contacted them and tried to talk to them over the phone first. If I decided to meet them I did ask for a résumé either upfront or when I met them. And I would meet them at the Carl’s Jr. a couple blocks away. I again wanted to protect my couple and I didn’t want them to know their location or know the condition of them or anything like that without me getting again a better feel of them.

So after a detailed interview, if I like them, I would try them out.

Now, this was several years ago so the pay is different but I gave them the first four hours at $10 because it was training to see if they like the job and I like them. If it didn’t work out that was it. If I did then we moved onto $13 an hour for two weeks. If it was still going well, then it was $14 for a month. After that, it was $15 an hour there after. I had detailed lists of what I expected and how I wanted things done. But the ones who are good catch on real fast and don’t have to be told. The ones who have to be told over and over you let them go.

eventually, I did pay overtime on select holidays because I would’ve never got a break if I didn’t. Also, with that big of a staff, I encouraged each other to swap shifts or offered to cover each other whenever they wanted, so that I would not have to automatically cover everyone’s shift when one of them called out. About every three months we also adjusted the hours of their shifts just because they wanted a change. Everyone would agree to it before we set it in stone. It really helped to be flexible with people. That may sound comical because it’s common sense, but I can be a control freak, so it was really hard for me. Major learning curve, but I did it and I became successful eventually.

and part of this “eventually” was incorporating what I remembered I did to have fun in the office with coworkers. I spent about a half hour at each shift change when I could to find out what was going on in their lives and to let them know what was going on - camaraderie you know? I would also make goodies for them frequently. I had a candy bowl. I gave them flowers whenever I was short with them (because I was sometimes!) and I would do other things to try to make it a pleasant work environment. I was able to keep the same staff for a year and a half before the couple had to go into a facility finally. And that’s pretty good.

we had cameras too. In the bedroom, the living room, and in the kitchen. Very very necessary. You would be surprised again at what you catch people doing.

Everything was not always peachy. I had to put one gal on probation. I had to reduce another gal‘s hours and I had to fire people, even occasionally on the spot.

But you get better at it as you go.
I also had a company as additional back up in case nobody else wanted to work. It didn’t work so well cause I was so picky but at least I had them.

Good luck!

Start with volunteers: family, friends, neighbors, members of faith community. Ask for just 1 night per week or a couple of nights per month. Then fill in with paid help. Somebody doing college classes online might be willing to do the night shift - but will expect to be paid. Home health care agencies can also supply night time sitters.

There are many business that offer in home care. I would use one of them that is licensed with the state. They charge 35-50 $ and hour but they are reliable and good.

The “free room and board” is no longer a common thing. The people who would accept it are ones you don’t want in the house.

She needs memory care.

You would need to pay the overnight caregiver just like you pay other caregivers. "Living there rent free" is not enough.

I advertised on Craigslist gig. I wrote a very specific list of duties and responsibilities. I also stated there are cameras in the home. The gig is 10 dollars for 30 days but you will get your best people in the first few days. I quickly screened to the top person and texted (a number was included). I have done this 3 times (I have mom, mil and one person left because of her own family situation). I also gave a glimpse of the personality of my MIL (cannot have thin skin-she has very little filter). I described a normal routine. In your situation, you will want to state the barter -her furnished room and run of the house, food allowance (I would not say all meals are included because the person may eat lavishly). Wifi, tv. Address sleepovers. You may want a rule of no sleepovers. That no sleepover rule will help you not have 2 people or more moving in! It may also help the person to say no to sleepovers because you have cameras. Terminate immediately if there is a broken rule. I usually say “it is important that you are happy and I am happy, if the parameters of this job doesn’t work for you, I would like a 2 week notice. If I decide the work situation of this job isn’t working for me, I will give you a 2 week notice”. If the reason for leaving is due to a broken rule, there will be no 2 weeks notice.” I called every reference. I started each person with a trial period of a month to see if we were both satisfied with the arrangement. I then talked to the hired lady and asked her if she wanted to continue, was there something I needed to do or not do. I had delightful hires. I did prayerfully move on every step.

Not sure why your mom isn't living in a personal care home, but that may be better since there is 24 hour care.

Finding and keeping overnight help is hard. It's what my sister and I are struggling with right now for our mom. Mom gets up between 3 and 6 times in the night to use her commode and my sister is afraid she will fall because when Mom is sleepy she is unsteady so she gets up with her. My sister needs more sleep. I stay there one night a week to do overnights and she has a hired caregiver one other night but my sister still isn't getting enough sleep. I don't know why finding overnight care is so difficult but it definitely is.

You cannot offer room and board and not pay the person. If they have to be available during the night, they have to be paid for that shift. They come on at 10 and leave at 8, they are paid that 10 hrs. There are laws to protect live-ins. Call your labor board to find out what they are in your State.

She has caregivers?
Ideal!
I would speak with them about recommendations.
It's always hard to vet folks who are good. People who take on overnight work sometimes work too jobs and are too sleep.
Rent free doesn't work. Would you stay up wondering, watching and worry just so you could live in someone else's home, and work full time the next day somewhere else?

You understand, I know, the enormous expenditure you are looking at. When my friend was in hospice a few years ago she needed 24/7 care to be home. Two women worked EVERY DAY, 12 hour shifts together, 20 hour plus they always had food brought in. And even at that fair--ever cheap--rate, the money hemorrhaged out of her accounts.

Has there been any consideration of memory care, nursing home, Board and Care or ALF?

I can only wish you good luck. The usual places, Care.com and agencies in your area, next-door, recommendations are there, but everything today is so unreliable. It's really tough.