What type of in-home help is there for aging parents who are losing their executive functions for things like answering questions about emails and mail received and talking with lawn care people and finding things in the house? They can't remember previous conversations they have and don't always write things down and then can't really explain their problem to us over the phone because they get confused.
I know what my go-to answer is and that is that it's a child's responsibility; they need a full-time "secretary" or "office manager". But my sister and I are not near our parents and they don't have the ability to have a cohesive, productive conversation over the phone about these subjects anymore so that we can solve things long-distance. Dad will rattle off about 5 things he's got "problems" with. And when you ask for details, he gets confused. He gets himself so worked up that he can't think straight and we end up accomplishing little in phone calls. Then later, I learn that some things worked themselves out when he was calmer and some things linger. He worries excessively about many things that are not even his responsibility to worry about (like me traveling by airplane and renting a car by myself to come see them).
Through this forum and from research and phone calls and friends, I have a good list resources for when medical care is needed in the home, or PT, or comfort and care for my mom (mild dementia) but when it comes to finances, emails, mail, keeping their calendar straight, coming up with words to explain problems, and worry, I don't know what recourse we have as adult children living far away.
Even if they were to move to a continuing care place, these sorts of matters would still need to be "handled". My parents want to continue to live on their own and are independent in many ways. My sister and I feel pretty good about having affairs in order and know their wishes in the case of life-threatening emergencies and like I said, knowing who to call when medical help is needed, getting nourishing meals to them when needed, etc. But it's the day-to-day functioning that is getting unsustainable at a distance. We have a helper coming 3 days per week for my mom, but Dad does not ask or trust her to do anything else. He's got trust issues and is a perfectionist.
As I said in the beginning, my conclusion is that there isn't support for such personal matters that one can necessarily trust except for within family. They are 91 and 92 and a move at this point would be devastating, and we cannot leave our families to go live with them, so we are just hoping there are some of you out there who have found a way to help parents with their day-to-day tasks in their home. Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter!