The hard part is over.
I'm matching you with one of our specialists who will be calling you in the next few minutes.
Then my safety list is as follows;
Fires, falls, fear, fraud (the 4 Fs).
If he mobile around the house, is he a danger cooking/heating in the kitchen? Is he falling? Is there paranoia/fear - risk of wandering from home? Access to money/credit cards & risk of using inappropriately?
Any of these need support in the home support as soon as can be arranged. If not able to manage in the home setting, then early placement into care may becomes necessary.
Don't wait for neuro report for support. Get onto a dementia counselling service or area of aging now.
How you tell the neurologist is by saying, "Doctor, neither of us can wait 6 more months to see if there is further memory decline from the tests just run, he needs meds now, please." Just like you said here. My husband & I have been going back & forth to doctors for the past 9 months, right in the middle of the virus, nothing stopped really, just for a short period of time and then everything picked right back up.
Wishing you the best of luck.
But normal progression of the desease, nothing will change the fact that his brain is dying. He is probably already experiencing short-term memory loss. Can't be reasoned with, having problems processing what is being said, shows no empathy or appreciation in what u do for him. Maybe seems more like a small child than an adult. This and more are the natural progression of the desease. No med is going to reverse it or stop it.
I’m pretty sure I’m in the same situation with my own DH. Memory issues, both long-term and short-term. He passes the mini-mental easily so neither Banner Alzheimers nor Barrow’s will give us a diagnosis. I think meds ARE available to help with the memory issues. The system is broken, but we have to march on. Meanwhile DH forgot how to make pasta! So he read the instructions on the box and carefully measured 2 qts of water. Same day, he forgot how to get to the dog park where we are regulars in our small town. Etc, etc. Bottom line, WE need to plan ahead, introduce other caregivers now, whether relatives, friends or paid, and just assume he has Alzheimer’s, which causes MOST dementia. Even without a label WE have to face that our primary relationship has changed and we must figure out how to provide appropriate care. WE must not let them drive without us, or maybe not at all. Even if the neuros give meds (ours focuses on daily aerobic exercise and eating healthy instead of prescribing meds that could help with memory ) and a diagnosis, it won’t change what I must do. At this point I just assume it’ll keep progressing.
Sorry, let’s keep sharing concerns and forget about the neuros, who aren’t helpful.
I always recommend the book by Dr. Nortin Hadler, Rethinking Aging: Growing Old and Living Well in an Overtreated Society.
Everybody has to decide for themselves (or their loved ones) how much medical intervention is desirable for them.
This is a great place to come to for support and encouragement. We all wish you and your husband well. Hope you can find a local support system as well.
I take from your post that the neurologist has just done a baseline assessment, which is of course the essential first step in tracking progression. But even though you can't have a valid comparison for six months, you do still have the assessment; will that not be enough for any applications you need to make regarding support for day-to-day life?
Be sure to take advantage of resources and support and their online classes for caretakers you might find through the Alzheimer's Association. They can help guide you toward what you need and what is available in your community.
Is this a neuro-psyc doctor? I would change doctors. You may end up needing placement for your husband. Medication cocktails are extremely difficult to get as far as the right combo, extremely difficult to get ones that KEEP working over time, and they need adjusting all the time. Your husband, if there is a lot of acting out will also be difficult to place. I hope that you told your Doctor that your husband, as currently medicated (or not) is impossible for you to control and live with, and will need placement and medications both under present circumstances. If he is still of the "see you in 6 months" bent it is time to seek other help. He isn't the right doctor for your case. Inform him of this and request transfer of all records when you find another neuro-psyc doc.
This has to be impossibly difficult; I honestly cannot imagine. I certainly do wish you the best of luck.
Now it's time for you to get assertive. Call your Dr. or Zoom with him. Don't let the receptionists tell you it can't be done. Explain CLEARLY what is going on. Ask, how can we get help for DH?
The sad part of this whole situation is that your husband is in a different space and time. YOU already know what tests will tell you in six months --he is declining. Peace be to you and your DH. Your road might be as hard as his.
I also have been using aromatherapy and herbal support for my mother. For anyone who does not believe in these things I can tell you that they have all helped my mother (and me) tremendously! There is no cure for dementia but the symptoms can be dealt with for sure. After just a year her attitude has changed, minimal angry outbursts. Has been more involved in her care when this time last year she just wanted to sit in her chair and watch tv. Now she looks forward to taking a walk, showering, helping with meals. She has even started doing some small arts and crafts things again. The 3 best things I have given her are ginger/tumeric with black pepper (for digestive and inflammation) and melatonin for sleep and calm emotions. Prior to thus I was ready to pull my hair out. She still has some bad days but they are much less and not as severe as they were. No lore swearing and throwing things. Maybe you can talk to DH's primary care about some holistic options. Stay strong and don't let the doctors dismiss you or his needs.
Seek a second opinion and in the meantime document everything that is going on!!
Perhaps a Nanny cam or cell phone video along with your day to day diary!
Countrymouse made a great point!
It made me think that perhaps you need to see a Geriatrician!
Just food for thought!