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My 83-year-old mom is constantly bringing junk home (she gets it from trash cans, dumpsters, just finds it, yard sales, etc...). I've told her numerous times to stop and even when she's been caught red handed (a neighbor had her on their Ring digging in their trash can) she'll say she doesn't or that wasn't her. She used to do it randomly during the day but people would chase her away or I'd catch her. So now she sneaks out before sunrise and looks for stuff. Even when I try to be nice and tell her it's not safe and to stop doing it, I'm usually met with a FU. She won't see a counselor, her church set her up with one once, she told everyone she was seeing him and ended up she never saw him (he bumped into her at a church event) and was going to the swap meet. When she was called out on it she changed churches. Any advice or suggestions?

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According to your profile, your mother suffers from dementia/ALZ and lives in your home! She's obviously suffering from hoarding disorder as well as evidenced by her digging in trash cans and bringing home garbage, then denying it (dementia), so if it were me, I'd have her placed in managed care; Skilled Nursing with Medicaid funding it if finances are an issue. It's dangerous for an elder with dementia to be out alone digging in trash cans and dumpsters, plus it's not healthy for you to have to deal with all the junk she brings home, so the whole living arrangement isn't working out. Hoarding is an anxiety disorder which is heightened by the dementia, and we see quite a lot of it here on the forum with elders who suffer from dementia.

For in-home care to work, it has to work for EVERYONE in the household, which is clearly not the case in your situation. You can't 'stop' a person from doing what your mom is doing, either. Even licensed psychologists often cannot stop a hoarder from hoarding and/or bringing home tons of useless garbage and stockpiling it. So you are unlikely to be able to stop your mom from doing this! You've tried and failed b/c she refuses help, which is typical of people who hoard. They don't see that a problem exists in the first place. The only thing you can do, therefore, is remove her from your home or learn to live with the consequences of her behaviors. I'd be worried about her roaming around alone outside with dementia, though, b/c she can get lost or hurt and then what?

Wishing you the best of luck finding alternate housing for mom.
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A lot of times they do this to “save” money. You might be able to redirect her with your coffee tin of change and some coin rollers. She rolls up some quarters, why that’s just more money she can put in the bank or do whatever her heart desires.
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Is your mom 'saving' the 'beautiful' items from the garbage?

My mom rummaged in trash when she was young and healthy so don't feel bad. She also went to yard sales, second hand stores. She did it until she died. In my mom's case she was 'rescuing' items that would be beautiful some day: a broken plate would become a mosaic; a broken glass would be melted into a pendant; a broken table would be repaired and refurbished. She did a lot of art and used some of her rescues however most ended up in her hoarder piles.
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She cannot be reasoned with anymore. It may be time to consider assisted living. If anything, it’s not safe for her to be wandering around outside.
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You may want to prevent her from being able to leave your home. I put child safety caps on my doors but they were round handles. I hope you don't leave her alone for any length of time. Dementia is very unpredictable. You never know what they will do.
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