How do I, for the future, convince Grandma that she is wrong but not make her upset?


About a year ago my grandma was diagnosed with dementia. As the year has gone by my grandma has slowly gotten worse. Today, she called me convinced that my sister robbed a bank on Saturday, even though all three of us were together for a birthday all day. I looked at the article she was looking at and it was a black woman ( my sister is Caucasian) as I proceeded to tell her that it wasn't her she got more agitated and upset (sobbing, hyperventilating, etc.) she kept recalling parts of the day that never happened. And all I could do was correct. Which caused her to be more upset. How do I, for the future, convince her that she is wrong but not make her upset?

Find Care & Housing


With Dementia dreams., TV and reality just blend together. Mom would even say "I may have dreamt this" She would get upset because she saw a fire on TV and think it was my house. I was able to say it's only the TV and she would calm down.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29

97yroldmom has a really good response to this type of delusion/mistake. There will probably be many occasions for you to get into GM's world and calm her down in her own terms. Start practicing!
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to jeannegibbs

Colder, something else you need to remember is that a sudden change in mental status should be reported to Gma's doctor. Often, urinary tract infections in the elderly can cause these kinds of delusions and increased confusion.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn

Sometimes we get a question on this forum that I really think might be a hoax. Then I remember that truth is stranger than fiction and even if it is a hoax I must respond as if it’s not.
If your gm has dementia you have to learn to respond to each statement as if it’s the truth if you wish to minimize the stress and move on.
“GM, sister just called and she said the police had her mixed up with someone else. She is fine. She says to tell you she loves you.” (Divert)
“Would you like me to bring you a chocolate or strawberry milkshake”?
She has lost the ability to think it out. To reason.
Go on YouTube and listen to Teepa Snow. GM has lost the ability to function in your world. You have to enter her world to calm her. I hope this helps.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to 97yroldmom