How can you prevent an elderly person from sitting on the toilet for a long period of time, even after they already relieved themselves?

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My Mom takes care of the 90 year old grandmother. She has noticed lately that my gram will go into the bathroom and spend up to an hour or more sitting on the toilet. When she asked my Gram if she is done she will say no. She sits there and counts the flowers on the wall paper and tiles on the floor.... She even closes her eyes, like she is sleeping. Mom sits close by to make sure she does not fall off the toilet. She is concerned, what can she do? My gram is still
independent and does appricate someone telling her it is time to get up....

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Maybe you 'ride herd' on her too much...this may be the only way that she can truly find a time for herself...we aren't ALL people people and DO like to have some private time to ourselves!!
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well be careful on the sleep aids, this one doctor (that we dumped immediately after this happened) gave my dad a sleep aid....yeah well it was too strong (hindsight 20/20) and when my dad got up to use the bathroom, he fell trying to get back into bed cause he was toooooo drousey.
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I'm sorry GramaG, it sounds as though his brain is stuck in a loop. That sounds a little like OCD, to keep wiping. Do you have Wet Wipes for him to use? Maybe before long he'll change to something else. I like the timer idea, I'd never heard that before. Does he take a sleep aid at night to help him sleep? If not, maybe ask his doctor if it would help. At least then y'all could get some rest.
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I'm talking about my husband (91) getting up in the night. He is not trying to get private time - he just is obsessed with wiping.
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I agree with Nojoy3.. Maybe the bathroom is the only place your Gram can get away to for some private time.
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My husband also stays too long when he goes to the toilet. He has to get up a least 3 times during the night and stays about 30 min. wiping, wiping, wiping - the seat, his legs, etc. I tried setting the timer for 15 min. and sometime it works. Then is a couple of hours he has to get up again and repeats the wiping.
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Excuse me gram, I have to use the room!
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I like it in there, and I have dozed off early in the morning. We don't even have flowers on the wall to count.
However, it is rarely available because my husband is using his chromebook in there! I say, keep moving, your legs can go to sleep and you cannot get up!
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Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.
All the above are good suggestions but wolflover has made the one comment I would endorse as being the most important. This is very true for the heavy elderly. If they sit too long they compress the nerves in the legs and they don't just go to sleep they are temporally paralysed. Raising the feet on a stool both helps elimination and prevents nerve compression. Hemorriods are about as likely as sitting on a cold stone step which is what my grandmother used to tell me. Well I have them anyway but don't think the cold step was the cause
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it may or may not cause hemorrhoids but I can tell you that when I had a case of the "runs" and would sit there cause about the time I got up I had to go again; it would actually make my legs "go to sleep" so that could be a problem also. if they sit too long and their legs go numb and then they do try to get up, they could fall. best of luck.........
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