My FIL is a 92-year-old retired colonel and lives by himself (my MIL died 3 years ago) in a nice condo 10 minutes away from us.
He has 3 sitters who work from 7:30 am until 7:00 pm. He's alone then until the morning.
He has become almost immobile and is in a great deal of pain almost continually. In addition, his hands and feet are very swollen. He sees a local doctor who is truly a quack and who has lost his affiliation with one of the hospitals he worked with. He does things like give my FIL testosterone shots and lots of tests and doesn't (as the dr. himself says) know what's wrong with him. "Maybe it's his heart."
The Colonel (as everyone calls him) is a very angry man with a strong will -- he's always been like this. He won't let anyone tell him anything and will listen to no one nor accept any advice.
For example, he lived in a wonderful independent facility where he could have gone to assisted living when the time came and then into the healthcare facility. But they couldn't give him a parking spot where he wanted, so he said "I don't have to stay here," and a few days later bought the condo and moved. The place is huge and expensive. But that's the way he is.
We're very worried about him, especially his being alone for 12 hours a day -- but he can be very cheap and refuses to pay for a sitter while he sleeps -- though he's sleeping most of the day anyway. Sometimes when talking to him -- either my wife and/or I visit him every day -- he'll fall asleep during the conversation. He's also talking less and less.
Given all that and the fact that he's clearly declining quickly, has no adequate medical providers, and is in constant pain, we just don't know what to do.
We were wondering whether any of you might have any suggestions as to paths we might pursue in order to alleviate this terrible situation?
Thanks in advance for any help or suggestions you might be able to offer.