I have reported on my difficult OCD, narcissist mom in the past, but now there is a potential medical issue. I suppose all this is medical at the heart of it.
My mom had been having a cough, lots of phlegm, etc. No other symptoms like fever, etc.
Took her to the Dr. who said her lungs sounded really funny so ordered a chest x-ray to see what was going on. Thinking bronchitis, pneumonia or something similar.
She came back saying her heart had enlarged to the point it was tough to see the lungs. She asked if my mom had otherwise been out of breath, overly tired, etc. She is not, she is like a jack rabbit around her independent living facility.
All her other vitals like oxygen, pulse, etc. where normal. Her BP was a bit high but not otherwise scary high.
She ordered a bunch of other tests which just came through on Mychart after the Dr. is off duty.
The N BNP or whatever ws 4200, over twice as high as the upper limit of 1800 for someone her age (she is 92).
I thought that was so high I should take her to ER, but called her and she does not want to go and otherwise seems OK.
I have call into the nurse triage who is calling the on-call Dr. for her clinic who should be calling me soon. I am just wondering if there is a reason to take her to ER.
They already had him on record so I felt secure.
They were able to offer a stable source of guidance and I did not have to bring him in.
I also kept away from the web for fear of derision.
They put her on Z pack and prednisone for potential bacterial bronchitis
I went to my own doctor today, been feeling terrible, and he diagnosed me with the same, and gave me the same meds, and alos tested somthing for something called RSV. My temp is up over 100
He wanted to do a chest X RAy but the X ray machine at the clinic had broke down so I have to go again tomorrow
This is going to make you crazy if you keep it up. Make it clear to the doctor that she is going to have to order medication management services at the IL if she wants mom to take her meds.
Some elders simply won't cooperate in their health care and unless they are under guardianship, they have every right to do that.
I would leave your mother be.
Then I said I am going to set up her daily AM/PM pill boxes as I dont think she is taking them all . She threw anohter fit, and said she woudl set them up herself. She tried to scramble around apartment even trying to find all the different bottles which made me more sure she is not taking them all
At first I was frustrated, then thought, the HELL with her in a way. If she is not going to take care of herself, there is nothing I can do. She may die or have a stroke sooner htan she would have had to, but what can I do? Nothing
Kind of cold, but kind of freeing in a way.
If she chooses not to listen to her doctors, don't make yourself crazy trying to force treatment.
She refused to go to the ER, choosing instead to call one of the 'kids' to come sit with her while she had these episodes. It was patently ridiculous, but they propping her up--she's in a frantic panic and she won't allow them to do anything. Are they just supposed to sit with her, in dire straits and watch her decompensate? That's what they did, night after night.
Finally they brought hospice on board. IDK if she has CHF or COPD or she's just supremely anxious--maybe all of the above.
Dh did say that he had to raise her oxygen both times he had her in his care.
If your mom is otherwise OK, and not freaking out, go ahead and wait until Monday.
I LOVE the 'MyChart' thing. I get my blood tests before the DOCTOR sees them. Anything that is a 'problem' is flagged, with 'High' or 'Low' and if I can't figure out the puzzle of it on my own, I google it.
I am looking forward to Monday when we will see her PCP to make better sense out of all this.
Imo, leave your mom alone to live her best "Jack rabbit" life as she can right now. My mom was the same way and it's what kept her going so long......the NOT focusing on Life Alerts and ER visits and meds etc, just living life every day. It's hard for us "kids" to sit by and watch but seems best for THEIR wellbeing in the long run, at least imo.
Good luck! 😁
It is amazing how when they don’t recognize a problem those people seem to be less incapacitated from ailments, until the ailments get way worse . Mind over matter is powerful up to a point .
I question if your mother is taking her Lasix at all. When my mother was in assisted living she used to “cheek” that pill then after the nurse left she took that one out of her mouth. I was finding them in her drawers , where she would hide them . She didn’t want to have to run to the bathroom either . She refused until her legs swelled up. Your mother doesn’t recognize she has a problem yet. Sometimes they won’t comply until they see on their own that there is a problem .
I told her she is to double her lasix, she said she does not want to because after the first one she had to pee all the time. I said thats the POINT, htat means its working (I assume_
I said take on then just assume you will be at or near the toilet for a couple hours, thats your therapy, like someone sitting for an hour or two for chemo.
Part of her problem is she cannot sit still, thoug the fact she still cant sit still makes me think her heart could not be TERRIBLY bad
Then the dr ordered her to wear her life alert. Of course she will not wear it.
The funny thing (and some of the things my mom says and does are ridiculous cant help not to see the humor in it, people have said I shoudl write an Erma Bombeck type column about ther) but get this
She says she was walking down the hall the other day ,and a lady in her building had fallen in her doorway and could not get up. She asked my mom for help, but my mom is 95 pounds soaking wet so could not help herself, but dashed off (they call her Jack Rabbit at the buildilng) to get help
In my moms bizarro world, this PROVES people dont wear life alerts, as if this lady had had one, she would have used it rather than needed help
My brother told her, this PROVES you do need one. This lady, had you not come by, could have been there for hours
Just remember that your mom remains in the driver's seat. Be guided by what SHE wants.
I’m glad he is doubling the Lasix.
Like I said before . If she develops chest pain or shortness of breath , I would call 911. Hopefully that won’t be necessary. Is Mom a DNR ? If so. That paperwork is important to have handy anytime she would go in an ambulance or to the ER, hospital. I used to keep extra copies ready.
I don’t see how you can force her to go if she refuses. If she has chest pain or short of breath she will probably be willing to go . If she is having chest pain or shortness of breath I would call 911 . She would be given oxygen in the ambulance and be brought right in . If you take her yourself you could be sitting in the waiting room for who knows how long. When my parents got this elderly and needed to go to the ER I always called 911 . The nurse at the ER told me to do that if they can’t sit and wait a long time.
I am so sorry.
I’m no expert on heart disease. It does run in my family though. My dad, uncle and brothers have all had heart surgeries.
I would er on the side of caution if you’re feeling uneasy about your mom’s condition.
I am hoping that others will see your post and be able to advise you better than I can.
I am going to private message someone who is a nurse and see if she can help you out.
Will be thinking of you and your mom.