I am starting to wonder if I have been cursed. I wonder if it is common or if anyone else has gone through paperwork h*ll before and after placing your parent in a Memory Care Facility. I felt very lucky when I contacted A Place for Mom and got a wonderful gentleman who was incredibly helpful finding an appropriate facility for Mom given her mental/physical issues and budget.
Now, after making my choice, I was given a packet of paperwork to fill out as well as the Healthcare Provider/Doctor papers to fill out. I did as I was told and got those papers to HCP/Doc and received some papers back from them telling me this section I was to fill out. They did not send me back the whole packet and I foolishly thought they sent those to the facility. They didn’t. I had to chase them and when I got papers, certain ones were missing, wrong, the RX list was not updated, had old meds still on there and neither one told me that EVERYTHING down to a Tums and a cough drop had to be on that list in a very specific fashion, meaning......Halls menthol triple action (exact kind) and how many they are allowed to have per day. Who even thinks about this crap when your dealing with the stress of having to move your parent? So, I finally get the list and have to have them fix it not once but twice!
Next, finally get her in, late because I could not admit her without her HCP filling out ALL the papers correctly and that was h*ll. She has mid to severe dementia after a fall that she did not recover from and the other nightmarish condition of chronic lymphedema in one leg. I have been caring for it for many years and one of the first things I asked the facilities I was inquiring with, if they knew how to care for this condition. I was told they would be happy to learn from me how to do this. Now I am told her HCP covers people to come and do this. Wonderful! I go to meet this person yesterday and she asks me how I care for her leg and as I explained my schedule of how I care for it, she tells me that she has been approved for only 4 visits! I was aghast. This is a chronic condition, it can be managed but it never goes away. So, now I get to fight to just get my Mom the care she needs all the while, we are paying a good chunk every month for me to still go and care for her leg until I get this worked out.
It seems never ending down to scheduling a new person to wash and set her hair at the facility. Is this common? Don’t they offer assistance to the children who have no experience placing a parent, who are stressed out already, to make this process easier? Maybe assign a person to help navigate through this whole process and deal with getting paperwork and care ready to go PRIOR to the move in? I cannot believe I am the only one on the planet who has gone through this and would love to know I am not alone.
I find it also interesting that the facility had no problem getting me to cut a check to “reserve her space” even though they did not have all the required paperwork from the HCP/Dr. to allow her to move in. The important stuff like her leg care and her hygiene were not important to get set up before she moved in. I don’t get it.
I feel that so much of this could have been avoided if the facility just provided help to those of us who have never done this and needed guidance and assistance instead of tossing papers at me to get filled out with no specific instructions.
A huge amount of added stress and TIME making calls, e-mails, meeting people, etc. and I still am not done. A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE.
Sorry for the long rant but that is actually the condensed version if you can believe.