My mother is 90 yrs old and has dementia. She lives with me, and the most troubling issue I have is the constant questions asking where she is (my home), where is her car ( sold 3 yrs ago) where is her dog (he lives with a relative) how long has she been here etc... She has very detailed "stories" about walking to another house, or seeing people that havnt really been there. Sometimes she thinks she drove her car and left it parked unlocked on the street and or left her house unlocked and the door open, last week she she got very panicky thinking she left a baby all alone in her other house. So I guess its not just the questions, but how to deal with the "stories", she becomes extremely aggitated when I have to tell her some of it isnt real.

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My father is experiencing very similar symptoms. His doctor suggested we divert the conversation swiftly, so you could perhaps say 'oh dear, i'm sure the baby will be fine, speaking of babies, do you remember how one day,,,,,' We tried it and it helped!
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I walk a fine line between humoring her and telling her the truth. There have been many evenings that I have to take her out and drive around to look for her car until I can get her calmed down, when I tell her that her house is locked she doesnt believe me or that validates the has a house then she wants to go home and it starts a whole new line of questioning. The baby incident was resolved by convincing her that she would never leave a baby all alone because she is a wonderful mother and grandmother. So as I say its a fine line, because sometimes if I validate and get into her way of thinking it opens up a whole new can of worms.
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My suggestion is that you don't tell her it isn't real. This is her reality. In her world she left a baby all alone and is very upset about it. Telling her that it never happened will increase her agitation. Imagine telling someone about your trip to the store today and then imagine that person insisting that you never went to the store. That would be scary and frustrating. That's how your mom feels when you insist that these things aren't really happening.

When she gets concerned about leaving her house with the door unlocked tell her, "No mom, you locked the door. I saw you lock it." Or, "Mom, the baby's mom came and got her. She's not alone now, she's with her mom."

We can't expect our loved ones with dementia to be in this world with us. They're not capable of it anymore. We have to go into their world to take care of them. Just placate your mom, soothe her, reassure her, and she will probably stay calmer than if you tell her that these things never happened.
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