How will I know to give up on my very sick husband?

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He has severe lung problems and diabetes getting weaker by day.

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If you love him, don't ever give up on him! Support him and advocate for him to the very end.

Do you mean to ask how you will know when he needs more care than you can give him? When that time comes you will, I hope, find a suitable setting for him. Or perhaps you can keep him at home, on hospice.

It is very distressing to see him getting weaker and weaker, isn't it? Does his doctor suggest an evaluation for hospice care? That is one way to move on to the final stage of life. Don't think of it as "giving up" but as accepting the reality of the situation, in love.

Is his increasing weakness making it too difficult for you to care for him? Too hard to help him transfer, too hard to help him toilet, no regular opportunity for sound sleep? No time to yourself to re-charge? Either get in-home help or find a good care center that can meet his needs. This is based more on your capacity to care for him than his condition, so, please, be very honest with yourself about what you can and can't do. At this point finding a place very near so you can visit often and long may be more important than other considerations.
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You talk to his MD.
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