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I have been caretaker 3 yrs now despite abuse. He has declined in health mentally and physically leaves me to do everything except allow me to pay bills or make any decisions on our behalf. Everything is in his name only and he;s had us living in deplorable conditions past 3 years now. His decision making skills are crazy thinking, bills being paid late if at all, and refuses to move as he is ok living is bug infested mold ridden places, this being our 2nd that are making me ill. I have mold allergy, permanent disabilities and no income. He is abusive mentally and physically last month slamming my hand in a door breaking my finger then refusing me transportation to dr to get it fixed, Threw me into a wall lined with mirrors landing me on top of storage bins hurting my back that has 9 herniated discs plus I have arthritis and fibromyalgia. This left me bruised and back out for days. I literally do everything for him except work his job he refuses to leave despite dr advising he retire and warning him it is time to put affairs in order that his condition is worsening, He is unable to do simple tasks, does opposite what he is asked to do, losing memory, won't take care of personal hygiene, just watches tv and sleeps when not at work. His driving is frightening. Our finances are a mess but all is in his name including bank account I am able to use under supervision by him but not allowed to run budget. he fights me on every request, calls me a gold-digger, a whore the c word a b word etc. I stayed with this man when his illness took a decline despite his abusive nature as I am only family willing to help care for him. I actually was headed for divorce court before all this happened. We lost our family home in 2010 due to his negligence, moved into his friends substandard rental house infested with mold, ceiling in living room leaking eventually caving in, sewer problems and infested after he tricked us into it to collect money from hubby due to his inability to cognitively see the bigger picture, Then hubby refused us to move for 8 months despite my being ill the while time. I was too ill to find us an apt so once again he found another bad place to live due to being lead to believe it a great unit. Bait and switch tactic used here and we moved in despite their refusal to let us see it first. Then have had problems trying to get another apt or out of this one it due to a judgement on hubbys credit from previous home-owner friend filing a false eviction on us and hubby admitting in court he owed man rent money that we did not.The house was rented to us illegally and city ready to condemn it because I called them to come inspect it. I was not on lease as owner knew I would not easily be duped as hubby could be. we ended up paying to make repairs to his home so we has place to stay. An eviction was made although we had moved a month previous to the court date. The house was rented to us illegally and city ready to condemn it. conditions worsened, due to termites and other insects plus mold. we had to move as we were sick all the time. Lost all our household items due to mold and hubby has us in same situation again. I need some kind of help so I can take care of the finances, decision making and his medical care. He refuses to give me POA fight me on every level and I am not well either. Have to watch hubby's every move as he is screwing up on every level. Lacks reasoning, forgets everything and is fine with way we live. says he's not affected, He is part of reason I keep getting parasites.He refuses the treatments for himself and doesn't help with the precautions to clear up the parasites in home. I treat it with pesticides but it takes all those things in place for success. I barely get rest now as I am always cleaning and doing everything without help. I need help now before he ruins us. His lack of sense with reality and his abusiveness could lead to my death if he keeps up these fits of rage I am a good person and care or I would not be here helping him..He says he doesn't need help yet is unable to care for himself. Wants to be left alone but doesn't know how to do things to be alone not is he willing to. Runs away to bed when I try to discuss anything with him even non serious stuff. Doesn't want to hear my voice speaking I am told. Yells and screams constantly, is suspicious of my every move, abusive to our pets.and rude to our neighbors friends etc. Help!!!!!

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Why does he still have a job? You know what to do so do it. I am not going to wast time writing because I don't think any one real would have let this go on for years.
I think you may be the same person with the abusive husband running the camp site whose post got removed. We'll see
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I hope to God this isn't real!!!!
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Is this post for real? If it is, you have my sympathy. I am suspicious because it is so obvious what has to happen for things to improve. Go forward with the divorce. Move out while you are in the process of making the divorce happen. Go to a lawyer, write a check, and move to a shelter.

The current situation is not good for your husband. He needs dementia care. He needs to be in a safe, clean place. It is obviously and demonstrably not good for you. Staying with him is not doing either of you any good. LEAVE!

Do see a lawyer, but not about POA.
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If this posting is for real, you are involved in what is called battered woman's syndrome. Being his POA is not going to help you. You need to get away from him, get a restraining order and get temporary spousal support. Calling adult protective services is for your protection and will hopefully help you with your situation.
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This is going to sound unsympathetic. I'm sorry.

1. What would it take to make you leave?

2. If a person refuses to grant power of attorney, there is nothing that anyone can do about it.
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So sorry for you but GET OUT NOW! noone can treat us badly unless we let them. My EX!!!! was verbally abusive i walked out after 3yrs and have never looked back. NOTHING is worth living like this. There is plenty of help available for people in your situation. I wouldnt worry about POA just leave as soon as you can he will get worse you are in a very dangerous situation.
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Cowgirl; you have done your best. Walk away. Go into a shelter, go to an ER if you are ill, but DON"T GO BACK THERE. He is mentally ill, you can't fix that.
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Get out. You are being abused. Go to a shelter. He needs to be reported to APS for his own good. You don't need a POA, you need a whole lot more support. Some shelters will allow pets in an adjacent facility because many abused women won't leave for fear of what will be done to the animals. Get back on track with the divorce and get some division of assets and income. Are you disabled enough to get Social Security Disability? Have you spoken to his or your doctor? If he manhandles you again get out and call the police. Let them haul him off to jail or the hospital. Or get a restraining order against him, get him thrown out of the house until you can find a healthy place for yourself. Do you have friends or relatives? Get help ASAP. Leave while he's at work.
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Only you can save yourself. Get up and get out. If you would rather complain than get up and get out, you have more mental incapacity than he does.
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