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My dad has just gotten on hospice and they rated him 7-8 out of 10 (does anyone know what this is?) The social worker came today and the chaplain is coming Wednesday. We were told to get the funeral arrangements in order for my dad who is struggling with Alzheimer's. Does this mean they believe he will.pass soon or is this normal protocol? He is beginning to forget to eat and I have began feeding him otherwise he doesn't eat (except cookies which he sneaks like a child) He can't dress himself our bathe himself he's completely dependent on us except for going to the bathroom until recently. Now he is having very messy accidents occasionally or not using the restroom enough. He recently masturbated while watching me and then tried to engage me in sex (I am his daughter). Other issues are his constant sexual undertones in conversations, and a constant fixation on killing. He imagines my.kids are breaking or moving (even when it is literally something he just broke or moved or even imagined) and talks about just shooting them, killing them and he does this constantly all day every day. It's aimed at any and all of us, our animals, and also strangers. Or he says he wants to pull our heads and legs off and throw us outside, etc. Recently he's began getting angry at me while trying to communicate because it is almost impossible to understand him and I try to play along but sometimes he gets this mad look and has even jokingly raised his fists at me but then it suddenly turns into a look that I'm not sure is joking. He is very paranoid that my mom isn't where she says she is, is cheating, or not coming home at all, and gets mad and says he doesn't care because she's mean to him. They've been married 30 years, and he always corrects me when I say "your wife", he says I don't have a wife, I don't have kids... etc. I guess my.real concern is that my children and I live with them so I can provide care for him full time. I feel like I am trying to help him but I am scared that he may become physically violent. I'm not sure what to do about this since I want to be here for him but I am concerned for mostly my kids safety. My mom refuses to put him in a home, and I understand that but I am not sure I should risk anything possibly happening that would put my kids safety at risk. My mom doesn't seem to understand this and it makes me feel like I'm overreacting...

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You should not risk anything possibly happening that would put your kids safety at risk. That comes first.

When someone is accepted for hospice care, a doctor has stated that most people with similar conditions would die within 6 months. Of course it could be 4 weeks or 2 years, but it does make sense to make funeral plans. Hospice will be really helpful when death occurs, and they need to know the funeral hope you will use so they can make calls.

The paranoia is a "normal" part of dementia. Small comfort, I know, but many persons with dementia suspect their spouses of infidelity.

Ask whether there is a hospice building that Dad could move to if his care becomes too much for your mom. These places generally allow unlimited visiting.
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