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If they are not able to safely drive, they must be stopped. Many people have had to take batteries out of cars or get the steering wheels locked. Determined elders can be tricky.
Some clinics have programs where people are screened mentally, examined physically and then taken out to drive under conditions where they likely would want to drive. If they are from a surrounding small town and only want to drive there, the instructor has them drive in an unfamiliar, but similar area. If they want to drive in the metro area, they must take the test in traffic. The passing or failure of this stringent exam is often a help to families who much go through this gut-wrenching transition of taking away the keys.
The Hartford (go to their site at www.thehartford.com and so some digging) has some good brochures and they may help the elders see the light.
Carol
When my parents moved from Connecticut into the addition we built for them they applied for new drivers licenses. All they had to do was take an eye test. They were in their late 80's at the time. I was shocked that it was so easy since I knew my mothers judgments were being compromised by health issues at the time.
My father took her for a test drive and she asked him where the brake was! He didn't want to be the "bad guy" so I took her license without regret and I hear about it frequently. It took her a long time to forgive me but I'm OK with that.
You may want to remind your husband that it's not about him. The safety of other people is what's involved. . on the road and on the sidewalks as we've all seen in news reports. You know your husband better than any DMV tester.
It always amazes me when people think my mother is just fine (she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease a few years ago). She gets energized around new people and that extra kick of adrenaline makes it appear that there's nothing wrong. It doesn't last long before she's back to using her walker and forgetting the name of the visitor. She's also a very good actress when it comes to saving her self image.
If you have children you could ask them to get involved in the decision.
Be careful of those broad general statements. Unless you've experienced the difficulty of taking away the keys from a parent with a sterling driving record whose physician does not have the authority to direct the DMV to pull a license and you have no alternative arrangements for transporting your independent parent wherever and whenever he wants to go...well you get the picture.
A drunk is not impaired 24/7 so a "designated driver" is a good option. And the DUI laws in most states are stringently enforced so the law is on your side when you take the keys away. It is not so with Dementia or even debilitating forms of mental illness.
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