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My husband will only wash once or twice a week. He hurts near where his hip replacement is but they say it’s in place. He also has had two back surgeries and all apparatus is in place but he cannot have spinal injections because there is too much metal in his spine. The house smells awful. He also smokes, even though he smokes outside it waifs in with him and on his clothes. I’m sure others know of the cleaning the bathroom once or twice a day. Is there something special I can do to reduce the odor? I do the normal cleaning and clean where he sits when he washes. We really get no visitors besides my daughter and grandchildren. The few that have come by have not returned for another visit. I also notice when I come back home from running errands .

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Yes I sure do, caretaking for my 90 year old grandma with alzheimers. The best thing I find for bad oder look around the house for torrlet tissue she forgets to throw away, and spray vinegar around the torrlet a few times weekly.
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I can only address the bathroom issue. I use a pet odor spray that totally eliminates urine smell entirely for days. I just spray it around the toilet and wall. Rocco & Roxie Supply Professional Strength Stain and Odor Eliminator. You can find it on Amazon. Best stuff ever for urine odor.
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Trying2019, in regards to diffusers, I would look for one that has different times available, not just on and off, they seem to last longer. I think that they are all pretty equal and I don't really recommend any specific brand, just features and materials, no glass in this situation and one that has run times like 2, 4, 6 hours and on. These set to on run about 8 hours. You may be able to find ones that run longer because they hold more water, mine holds about 2 cups. I would buy the cheapest one from Amazon that has good reviews. Mine were freebies for ordering essential oils and they are obviously inexpensive units, they work so I am happy.

It is important to add enough oil to work, you will find the best for your liking and needs. Start with 15 drops per cup of water and set the diffuser as high as possible to get the most square foot coverage.
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Use Oatmeal dog wipes or Fabric Refresher every time he comes in from smoking. Third hand smoke residue transfers to fabrics & is toxic. You got him to smoke outside..be will adapt to this.
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I love Fabreeze type products. Also scent jars with the beads work very well. I keep the original peel off seal to adjust strength as needed. Also lasts longer.
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Buy the Glad PLUG INS, They d Wonders. You Change them Weekly and really Absorb the Smells. Fabreeze helps to in Spraying. Maybe have a Rug man come up and Clean any Carpets, Give it a Fresh Smell.
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pamzimmrrt Dec 2019
Bath and Body works also had cute plug ins, and I find they last about a month are pretty strong. The units are $5. and up, and the cheapest ones have night lights too. the refills are about $3.50 each We like them
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Yes! Absolutely! My mother no longer had the strength to wash her person well. My solution, which I've always used, is the concentrated can room sprays from Bath & Body Works. They work VERY well and last a loooooong time!
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GraceNBCC Dec 2019
Oh, and linen spray for bedding and fabric furniture.
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Has anyone tried those smoker’s candles? I’ve seen those. We don’t smoke so I don’t know how they work. The smokers I know just burn regular scented candles.
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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2019
I have used them and I think that the ones made for pet odor work better and last longer.

I also like the oil candles, they work really well, but can be a fire hazard if knocked over.

Fortunately I was delivered from cigarettes 10 years ago. Now I can't even imagine how anyone can pay for them. Yikes!
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They do make a cleaner to get smells out and for smoke. It’s called ODOBAN, you can find it at Lowe’s or order it online. It has a eucalyptus scent and I use it in a spray bottle and spray in on the carpets and the couch. I also use it to clean the counters floors showers and toilets. It kills germs and other many other health related issues it states in the bottle. It’s cheap and comes in gallon jugs to dilute with water.
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NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2019
I like eucalyptus. I bet your home smells nice.
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I just googled removal of cigarette smoke smell in a home. The recommendations are baking soda on carpets overnight and vacuum the next day and small bowls of white vinegar throughout the home to neutralize odors.

For urine and waste smell removal the recommendations were to wash floors and hard surfaces with baking soda, vinegar and orange essential oil.

Mattresses can be sprayed with vinegar. So vinegar should do the trick and it’s cheap!
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Greymare Dec 2019
I love this stuff. It has a beautiful smell to it and it kills germs. I also use it to my the floors. I’ve also used it my carpet cleaner.
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Washing clothes with vinegar is excellent! It’s so cheap as well. I also think that a diluted vinegar solution sprayed under the toilet, where it meets the floor really helps. I know someone said something about it not working due to PH balance, but I think it helps. He also may be doing something kind of gross ... which my dad in law did. As his disease got worse, he would urinate a little to relieve the pressure. Of course we didn’t know he was doing this until we caught him at it! It was not a great situation. However, we worked with it using urine bottles that we could throw away immediately.... and wiping up the drips immediately!
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If resources allow, a walk-in tub with air bubble jets is a wonderful blessing for older folks. It's expensive, around $3,000 for the tub and faucets plus another $1,000 or so in installation costs (check out home depot, they offer financing too; some local home builders associations will install for free). In addition to clean, the jets give a gentle massage to reduce inflammation in painful joints. Because it reduces pain, I believe it reduces fall risk from both stiff joints and pain medications.
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cetude Dec 2019
No tubs...eventually they will not be able to get in. Even those walk in bathtubs have issues as mobility gets more difficult. Walk in shower is the best, with lots of grab bars and a shower chair.
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there is a urine smell remover on amazon made by Clorox. it removes stains and odors. in a spray bottle it works. we used it on my moms room and floors.
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Bathing issues due to pain - are you trying to get him to sit down in the tub, stand in a shower, or sit on a bench? There can be reluctance on all of these for various reasons. Too hard to get out of the tub. Painful to stand that long. Getting chilled sitting on bench while trying to soap up and rinse off. Check in to a bath lift that can lower into the tub which would get his entire lower half into a hot soaking bath. Best money I ever spent for my mom was on a chair lift mounted to floor/ceiling that lowers into the tub. I got so tired of the water everywhere when trying to shower on the bath stool and she was freezing the whole time. You can call 509 670 2711 to get them to send you pictures and info.

While it may be cold outside, open windows and put a fan in the window backwards. So it sucks air out of room and blows to outside. Wipe down every single thing in the room with disinfectant type cleaner (fabuloso makes some good smelling cleaners versus the old standard pine smells). Take the bedding to a laundromat and wash thoroughly - Original gain has a nice clean smell in soaps and dryer sheets. Change sheets everyday. Clothing in closets may have old smells as well - get rid of what's no longer worn and wash the rest. Go at it one room at a time and continue airing out that room daily as you work on other rooms.

Other smells can be years of nicotine or urine on the soft fabrics of the house - carpet, furniture, bedding, etc. Have steam cleaning company come in and do all the flooring and furniture. If he has some leakage, you might need to replace his favorite sitting chair. (Try to find another that is very similar to what he has now since his body has conformed to that particular style.) If you are tackling one room at a time, have the steam cleaner do the same - you clean and have them come. If there was ever smoking inside the house, you may need to paint walls and use first coat of a sealer type paint like Kilz.

For the outside smoking that gets sucked back in when you open door or gets on his clothing, put a fan outside that blows the smoke away from him and the door as he smokes.

After cleaning furniture, get a few of those rubber backed mattress pads and cut to fit his chair. You might leave the fitted corners at one end to give it a pocket to hang on to top of chair. Change those each day w/bedding. If he has leakage issues, try some pull up type underwear and if he is resistant to those, they make incontinence pads for women (might have some for men) that you could have him put inside his own underwear.

There are also Gain wax melts that can help - don't use them to cover up odors, use them in addition to the cleaning effort. (You can tell I'm a Gain promoter!! Love the smell).

Sams sells some very large adult wipes (and cheaper in price than anything else you'll find). Order online and you don't have to carry them from store to house. If he is not up to a bath one day (or does his bath in the mornings, have him wipe off every nook and cranny with the adult wipes before he goes to bed each night. I doubt he wants to be the smelly guy, but he probably no longer smells any of the things irritating you and others.
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Psyclinz Dec 2019
Wow, sounds like A LOT of work, but you have some really great ideas that I am going to take on. I hope Trying2019 has someone who can help with this big big ongoing job, maybe daughter can help? Wishing Trying and her husband an easier time, less pain, and kind assistance to help them through their time of need.
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Your husband is a smoker and has alcohol-induced dementia. His body odor is worse than the average person's because of all the chemicals that are oozing out of his pores. You cannot cover up those odors because, as you said, you can't bag your husband. His odors permeate everything he wears and sits on.

I would start by hiring a professional cleaning service to clean all of your upholstery. That will make maintaining your home a bit easier.

Use ammonia to deodorize all of his laundry. Wash his laundry separately. Let it soak in the machine for 15 minutes before washing. Dry his laundry on high heat or, weather permitting, on a clothes line in the sunshine. Other laundry additives you can try include pine soap and white vinegar plus baking soda.

If humidity is a problem, get a dehumidifier. Humidity only makes odors worse.

Even in the winter you can open all windows for 5-minutes in order to air out your home. I come from a mighty cold part of the USA and it's a routine that my mother did and that I continue to this day.
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Sometimes the smells are in the soft furnishings like couch and easy chair. I discovered that a queen sized fitted sheet worked as a perfect slipcover for my parents couch (their couch was 90 inches long). Amazing! I bought two, so while one was in the wash, another would be on the couch. Clean means no smell. I made two covers for the lazyboy for the same reason. Carpeting or drapes may need deep cleaning. I also invested in an air purifier (mine is from Hammacher Schlemmer). As far as his clothing is concerned, try to purchase clothing made from cotton or wool. Natural fibers don't seem to hold onto odors as much as synthetics.
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pamzimmrrt Dec 2019
I also have an air purifier, mine is Winex from Costco, and it does help with the smoke smell in my house ( although nothing could keep up with my mom and hubs.. LOL)
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Is your husband having "toileting accidents"? Then he may benefit from wearing adult diapers, There are some really nice ones that look a lot like undergarments. I clean using a combination of white vinegar, rubbing alcohol and water with a little essential oil thrown in for fragrance. It seems to cut down an bacteria and odor on my hard surfaces (do not use on stone countertops). Non chlorine bleach and presoaking garments helps with those odors.

Does your hubby smell like urine/ammonia? If so, please have his doctor check him out for kidney issues. Folks with kidney failure start excreting waste products of protein digestion into their skin. This makes their skin and breath smell terrible. It also makes the skin very itchy.

If kidneys are not a problem, see if your hubby will sit in a shower chair in the tub and allow you to shower him with a handheld shower. This worked well for my gram who disliked taking a bath. Metal implants can transmit cold better than bone. So metal implanted areas may feel more sore during winter. Try warming the bathroom with a space heater beforehand and warming clothes in the dryer beforehand too.
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Are you saying your home smells like a nursing home? Or are you saying your husband has odor?

For the house, I like to use Citrus Cleaners. For your husband, you would first have to determine what is causing the odor. Sometimes it's from the diet - washing once or twice a week isn't really all that bad unless he's not being cleaned after going to the toilet. I used baby-wipes on my husband and I had no problems.

He was using a urinal the last couple of years and I found that a few drops of Hibiclens in his urinal took all the odor away without leaving any clinical smells. It actually cleaned his oldest (and his preferred) urinal!

You may need to start assisting him. HomeHealthCare will send someone in to help him bathe too.
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The nicotine will make urine smell worse. People who smoke are more likely to have protein in the urine which will cause kidney damage. It sounds like he is having accidents around the bed sheets, clothing, and his clothing probably as a complication of back surgeries. Perhaps getting disposable briefs may help (if he is able to walk). Make sure you have advanced directives signed, an estate will, Pre-arranged funeral, and has power of attorney set up when he does have his heart attack or stroke since he will not stop smoking and much, much higher risk. See an Eldercare attorney.

If he can shower, get a shower chair, and make sure you install plenty of grabs for him to hold on to, along with a non-slip lining.
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We used Clorox Urine Remover and Odor Control Cleaner sold at Lowe’s. When cleaning the floor around the toilet we used paper towels saturated with the cleaner to absorb any urine that seeped under the base of the toilet. The thinness of one paper towel made it perfect to slide under the base and the actual floor. Time consuming yet better than pulling the toilet. If you have someone that can pull the toilet it’s even better we did not. We began having my Dad with early-stage dementia sit on the toilet and not stand when urinating as his aim was very difficult to control as his disease progressed. Sitting also helped Dad completely empty his bladder than the normal standing up and urinating.
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What about using a shower bench so he could shower regularly and having a removable shower handle so he can rinse.I assume you'd be assisting him.As far as smells in the bathroom.I use bathroom spray w clorox,clorox,and clorox wipes.Not all at the same time.Window slightly open so the fumes don't knock me out.

As far as smells in the house baking soda absorbs smells.Try putting small bowls of it around the house.Hope this helps.I have a similar issue with my 84yr old father.
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Pet stores sell an enzyme cleaner to eliminate the smell of urine. It works well on human urine also.

white vinegar does wonders in the washer for odors on clothing. I have also used ionic air purifiers in the house.

As far as hygiene and not bathing they sell microwaveable bathing wipes for bathing. They work wonderfully along with a dry shampoo.
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Trying2019, as we get older taking a shower is like a workout at a gym. I know for myself I began to hate showering, always that fear of falling or feeling dizzy. Not unusual to get claustrophobic in a shower. And if he uses a body wash that contains a moisture and/or using a hair condition that is oily, that can cause the bath mater to become an ice skating rink.

Would your hubby take a regular bath? I know it may be difficult for him to sit down in the tub and to try to get up.

Another thing you can try is to get hubby to use wet wipes like doing a bird bath. What I like are wipes called "Water Wipes".

Add fresh air to the house when possible. At night, we sleep with the windows opened a few inches. Nature's air fresher :)
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I would use an essential oil diffuser.

You can set a couple throughout the house and reduce foul odors by using oils that are specific for killing bacteria, bergamot or frankincense are great bases for odors and mix and match to find the fragrance that you like.

I use lemon, grapefruit and may ling with bergamot for a fresh clean smell and the diffuser runs for 6 to 8 hours. Lavender can help relax everyone, cinnamon can stimulate your brain. The options are truly endless and the results are very pleasing.

Have you tried a no rinse body wash for the stinky parts?

Unless he never puts pjs on and just stays in the same clothes for a week you could steal his clothes at night and set out clean ones.

Pet odor candles are really good for killing the smell of cigarettes. I used them for years and my house didn't smell like a dirty ashtray. I would burn them close to him to get him deodorized as much as possible.

Vinegar is a great bathroom deodorizer because it kills the enzymes that cause the odor. So spraying it around after cleaning neutralizes any residual odor.

I hope you find something that works for you, smelly house is difficult to live in. Hugs, such a difficult situation.
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Marysd Dec 2019
I second using an oil diffuser. I have one in my parents room at the facility where they live and keep it running almost around the clock. No more urine or bad smells. Choose a fragrance you both like and it does wonders.
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Try vinegar in bowls around the house. My Mom had a blow out. A friend recommended vinegar for the smell I couldn't get rid of. I used Pinesol and bleach. After a day I saw a big difference, 2 even more.

Maybe husband needs to take at least a sponge bath. Also, a change of clothes every day. Deodorant every day after a wash. Went my Mom tried to get out of a wash, I asked her if she wanted to stink, she said no and let me wash. I tended to be blunt to get my way.
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needtowashhair Dec 2019
I'm not sure how well vinegar would work in this case. Vinegar works to fight odors by killing stuff that makes odors. It's a mild acid so changes the PH enough to kill bacteria. So unless she drenches her husband in it, it's not going to do much. It doesn't absorb smelly molecules out of the air. It does have a smell of it's own so may reduce the apparent odor by masking it with another. Like perfume.

Bowls of activated carbon(charcoal) would physically remove odors. The reactive surface will bind the odorous molecules eliminating them from the air. The downside to activated carbon is that it's not cheap. A cheap alternative is charcoal like what you would use on a grill. It's not as reactive as activated charcoal but can still be somewhat effective.
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Hi Trying. Vinegar neutralized odors so I would place a few small bowls or cups with white vinegar in the rooms that smell . Baby powder absorbs odors so you can sprinkle on rugs and on your husband if he’ll allow. Also, would he be open to washing a bit with wipes between showers? Worth a try. I’ve used Febreeze on furniture and I suppose you could even spray his clothes. Good luck.
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Try to keep window open in his room as much as possible, and another room if you need cross ventilation.
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Trying2019 Dec 2019
In the winter when it’s in the teens or below almost every day for 5-6 months cross ventilation won’t work. His “room” is the house, he sleeps on the recliner in the living room.
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First, try to address the sources of odor. Bag everything. Bag used diapers. Bag used clothes. If it stinks, bag it.

Second, air filters everywhere. In grandma's room, I have a dedicated air filter with charcoal. The charcoal is what's key. That's the only part that absorbs odors. In addition, the house HVAC has a big charcoal filter on it.

Third, showering once or twice a week is not bad. In fact, showering everyday is bad for you. Some perfectly fit people don't shower for weeks or months at a time. Really, our skin isn't designed for daily showers. It's bad for it. It kills the microbiome on your skin. That squeakly clean feeling after a hot sudsy shower is bad not good. If you have a healthy microbiome on your skin, you don't smell. That's the natural human condition, not smelling like soap.

https://www.businessinsider.com/how-often-should-you-shower-science-2017-1

Do all that and you house doesn't have to smell like a nursing home. Our house doesn't except when there's an active poop going on.
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Trying2019 Dec 2019
If it stinks - bag it? I can’t bag him!
First of all he will not wear disposable underwear. When he showers and dresses he puts regular underwear on, his clothes and a jacket. He’s in these clothes until his next shower unless he decides to just wear a robe, no underwear with robe because the waistband hurts his hip.
As for washing everyday, that’s a matter of opinion as far as I’m concerned. We owned a supermarket for nearly 35 years, working 10+ hrs a day and we both showered every morning before work. It woke us up and it felt good, it was rare that we missed a day of work. His change in habits has only been since he was hospitalized for alcohol induced dementia. He also has sleep apnea and has lost his drivers license.
I don’t bag clothes, they go immediately into the wash, covers for his chairs also. I try to do everything possible that he will let me, even changing of clothes everyday won’t happen he won’t do it.
No ashtrays, he smokes outside. I’ve also started burning candles. I will try the Air Purifier next, thank you.
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An air filter (like the GermGuardian Air Purifier) can help remove smoke and other smells from the air. If he wears a nylon jacket that blocks wind, it can also reduce the amount of smoke on his clothes (although the jacket may need to be stored in a large zip storage bag to prevent its smell from spreading into the house). Smokeless ashtrays help too. Washing the blankets, bed spreads, and chair covers more often helps. Household dust is suppose to be 80% skin cells, so dusting and vacuuming more often may help. I purchased a vinyl lift chair, but I place a padded twin mattress pad and fitted sheet over it primarily for comfort but I have noticed it also spreads the fabric softener smell to the room.
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It isn't special, but one thing you could do (which goes to the heart of the matter, so to speak) is hire trained aides to come in in pairs and get your husband properly clean. Some of these people are bathing tornadoes (though kind and caring with it) and your husband would find resistance futile :)

Is that something you'd consider? Also, has your husband's personal care routine been assessed with an Occupational Therapist? If discomfort is the real reason he won't wash more often (and not just an excuse), an OT might have some excellent answers.

ALL houses smell, by the way. Haven't you found that? That when you visit a friend or a family member after a long interval, the second you walk in you know where you are just through your nose? But there's personal, familiar smell; and then there's "doesn't grandpa like baths?" smell; and the latter I hope you'll be able to do something about.
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Trying2019 Dec 2019
We are not in an area to have access to trained aides. They have addressed it when we had a home visit this year, he listens and agrees, once the person is gone he does what he wants to. Of course I know all homes have their smell, but the one here is very different now.
He just won’t listen to me. I’m not a nagger, I never have been, maybe that’s my problem I’m not forceful enough. If I ask him to shower twice in a row, he considers that nagging!
If I disagree with him, he says I’m yelling at him...
things have changed and I just have to find a way to deal with it.
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