My sister is POA for my Father who has dementia. My siblings and I are worried that she is using his money to pay her bills, mortgage, etc. If we request a monthly snapshot of our Father's finances, is she required to provide it to us? If we find that she is not spending his money in his best interest, what can we do about it?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I am the financial POA for my aunt. My brother wants to know everything that is going on. He has never paid a dime for anything while my husband and I have invested close to $25,000 to get her into assisted living etc. It takes A LOT of time etc to be a POA and if you want to complain about it, then be prepared to take over. You could not pay me enough money to do this again as it is a tough job......
Helpful Answer (21)

Thank you jbclync...I slid into the role as the only child living in the same state (one other out of state). The other has offered to take on the bill paying which she can do sitting on her behind with a computer...but with all the banking, and other details of life headquartered here, I just felt it was better to leave it here. I am POA, and it can be a pain. ANd it does take time. Lots of time. Tough is an understatement. Just keeping and filing papers, getting papers shredded, keeping track of stuff for all just adds up. Then toss in an elder who believes the VFW and other charities are doing a good job and responds to every solicitation with a request for me to write another check, and another....then mom who is tearing out subscription cards and sending them the point I had to set up a flow chart with numbers and expiration dates. ...
Helpful Answer (11)

As POA, I didn't have to answer financially to my siblings. I'm now the legal guardian of both parents, and I have to meet with the attorney once a year and give a financial report. This report is sent to each sibling by the court. The siblings can question the validity of any money spent, if they so desire. To be honest, I like it this way. Thankfully, I keep good records.
Helpful Answer (8)

POA is actually required to keep private information private.
Helpful Answer (7)

Does your father live with your sister? Has your sister quit a job to take care of her father? Are you and your siblings participating in caring for your father physically or financially?
Helpful Answer (6)

No, unless the document itself specifically requires that.

What makes you suspect she might be mishandling Father's funds? Do you have some specific evidence? Using his money for herself would be a crime.

Your father apparently trusted this daughter when he appointed her POA, but you don't seem to trust her now. Have things changed? Or was sister always dishonest (in your view) and he was mistaken to trust her?
Helpful Answer (5)

No. But they are legally obligated to avoid conflicts of interest, and can still get hit with exploitation, etc. If you have evidence of some kind of wrongdoing call adult protective services. Or, maybe, petition the court for guardianship and raise the issue there.
Helpful Answer (3)

NO but after your dad passes away the rest of the family can demand an accounting BEFORE estate is settled because if she used the money for herself she must pay it back or it becomes part of her inheritance - I send a statement about once a year to my sister but that is not mandatory just good way to do it - a monthly statement is a time burden that will take up lots of time that she could use for him & she will resent doing it - from time to time a do a full review for my benefit & that's what I send to my sister & that takes many hours to do - I would refuse to do monthly unless ordered to do so by a court & then up the POA fees to balance it out the work involved

BUT she has the right to POA fees which here is accepted at $100 per month per $100,000 of estate or hours that are needed to do work if it is a mess to straighten out - she would also be able to reimburse expenses incurred like using an accountant, hiring people to assist him or installing grab bars in a bathroom [but only if he lives with her or visits regularly] but not to redecorate on his dime & all that must be documented

As mom's POA I spend about 15 hours a week getting app'ts set up, paperwork etc etc etc but I work hard so mom's assets are increasing not decreasing - just under 50% of the fee is spent for expenses I now have that I didn't before I took on this that help me have the spare time to work for her & still have some life of my own - things like a new cell phone at a much higher $$ level [old one wouldn't work inside my brick house], gas for the car, a cleaning lady 2X a month so I can keep up with housework & occationally get something extra done - I'm a senior too with health related issues for my 92 year old mom - this fee helps me feel that I'm not being taken advantage by the situation

Don't feel she is just taking money on whims without any proof - if she is writing cheques to herself then that is a bad practice unless she can back it up - I write cheques to myself only for my POA fees or her petty cash [$200.00 +/-] that I keep in my home for using for her like buying small items she wants like a doughnut or specialty coffee, having her pants hemmed or a wheelchair taxi to take her to the mall

Be careful about slinging too much mud - a small whisper that someone may want to look at her books after your dad dies so she should keep receipts about as much as possible might be the best way to go now - I keep all mom's in a separate bank even the credit card from that bank is just what I need to buy for her but is in my name & I even have "FOR MOM" written across it in magic marker

One way to see for yourself what is being done is to visit your dad regularly, notice what is being done, bought, not bought etc - that's the only way to know what is being spent on him - FYI if she takes him to mall & they stop for a burger then her burger should be an expense to him but if she chooses to go to a gourmet restaurant then she should pay for him too unless that was where he specifically wanted to go ... not likely unless that was somewhere he went often
Helpful Answer (3)

Who handles the banking? I was POA for my mother, but my brother was able to set up her online banking. I was a second "looker" on the accounts. Be careful when it comes to elder's money.  If I hadn't asked to be a looker on my late mother's accounts, my brother was not handling some funds well.
Helpful Answer (3)

I have POA for a dear and elderly friend.

Her children argue too much and do not get along, so she asked me to take over POA to ensure that her estate is divided evenly among her four children.

I provide a monthly accounting of expenditures, to all her children, even though I have not been mandated too.

I keep scrupulous records of every penny I spend from her accounts to ensure it is only spent on her behalf.

A POA may be mandated to hand over a record of expenditures is if there is suspected elder abuse or self enrichment going on on the part of the POA.

At that time, after an evaluation by elder care protective services, if it is found that self-enrichment, undue influence, or suspicious expenditures are happening than the POA can be removed by the court.

The only other way a POA can be removed, in some states, is if the elderly person, is still of sound mind, and changes the POA.
Helpful Answer (2)

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter