Do I really have to become her representative payee?

I was also my Moms POA and on her accts. I paid her bills with no problems. SS had no idea she was in an AL. Since her check was direct deposit and she still had her home, her mail continued to go there. When she went to the NH, I signed to allow them to be Moms payee. I figured if there was any problem with SS after her passing, that would be their problem.

I read on the social security website that they don’t recognize POA & the person managing their money must apply to be representative payee & that they require an accounting of what funds are being used for.

it also stated that you couldn’t be co owner on the account.

I have been told by numerous Social workers and therapists that it's not a good idea to be a representative payee for a family member. It creates problems with family and can deteriorate the family relationship over time. If there is money leftover from her checks, then I would have a small amount put aside in the nursing home bank (my father had an account where he was, that he could withdraw $ at any time) for things like vending machines and transportation to and from doctors appointments, etc. If not, then put aside some money and give her a weekly allowance. I know she's not Dennis the menace, but it's helpful for her so she doesn't spend it all right away.

When I became rep-payee for my husband, I agreed because I thought it was required by SS laws. This year SS sent a letter saying I no longer had to fill out
the Rep-Payee yearly report. (Maybe this applies to everyone?).

I would not become the rep payee. She is living in a facility that gets all of her money, less a small personal needs allowance. It's not a ripe situation for theft. No accusation, that is what SSA is thinking. Financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior is what they are trying to avoid.

I was told by SSA that I needed to become the rep payee for my dad and he would not be allowed to have any of his money, ever. Nope, not doing that to someone that has a viewpoint about money like his. He would not have been allowed to spend his own money and that would have killed him.

I understand why they make things soooooooo difficult when dealing with the elderly, so many of them are exploited by their families and left to go without that it is important to make it hard for their money to be stolen. We have posters here that siblings are rep payee and they are not giving any money for the care of a parent or a small monthly amount.

It sounds like you have it set up to pay her expenses and be able to move her if needed, I would not change anything.

It is currently going into her account and you are POA and you are co-signer on that account? Then there is honestly no reason to be made her representative payee. Were you ever to want to change it out of that account, that would be a problem, so when the nursing home comes you you and says "Why not have your mother's SS Check come directly to us?" don't do it. When/if she were to need to switch facilities for different level of care you would be in for it trying to redirect the SS. I understand (and could be wrong/am no expert) that you can even redirect SS without being payee to another account IF it goes into a trust account and you are trustee on the trust.
I agree that it is a pain to go through; they do a background search and demand yearly accounting. THAT SAID, you should, as her POA be doing a monthly accounting in ink in a ledger. You want to be ready for questions from ANYONE about how and why you manage your Mom's stuff.
You can fill out a form if your Mom can sign it knowingly, from Social Security Web site that is a "share information form". This doesn't require being a payee. I forget the number on the form.
When I had to do change of address for my brother I did it on vacation to him (he is out of my town) so he could answer questions as well as me being there. Otherwise it is difficult to do even that. They sure do not make it easy. You think POA or Trustee of Trust should do it, but you need different forms for IRS and different still for SS so is a pain in the neck. Wishing you luck.
They will also talk to you on the phone but it is for us a 55 minute wait while they tell us how many millions they serve (which is true enough). They were very nice when finally I could speak to them.

Yes, it is a relatively simple form, SS-1696.   All it does is facilitate communication, not payments.

I don't think so,  but maybe someone here knows more than I do.  While my mom was still competent, in addition to state POA, we got her to sign IRS and SS POAs (they have their own form, and do not respect the state one), so we can talk to them if a problem.