90 year old dad broke hip 01/13, did well with rehab, had gall bladder removed 3/4/13, had delirium after surgery, now clear, discovered hernia filled with just fluid, no surgery needed. Has congestive heart failure and kidney failure, they are trying to keep lungs clear and kidneys functioning, but he is miserable. He will not eat. Has been in hospital since 3/4 (now 3/19).Told me a few hours ago he is trying to figure out how to die, doesn't want to wake up one more morning.
His doctor in the hospital keeps changing. The nurses keep changing. They have changed his room and hospital floor about 7 times in 2 weeks. They have called a chaplain to go talk to him. Doctor doesn't want to use antidepressants due to potential side effects with the other meds. Will some kind of morphine help this situation? He is perfectly lucid now; he can make his own decisions. What advice does anyone have for me? Thanks in advance.

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Listen to Jeannegibbs..she has really good advice. Does you dad have a DNR advance directive? And on that advance directive can his life be prolonged with any types of life sustaining support? I would check and make sure he has all his eggs in a basket so to speak. So that if there comes a time when he is unable to answer those questions for himself that he has it down in writing. With my mom who had LB Dementia she had made her DNR sheet out 10 years prior. She wanted me to make sure that if the time came that she would not be kept alive with tubes and Iv fluids. The hospice is a great place for him, if he can get placement. They basically will keep him comfortable and pain free. They were a Godsend.. literally for us. I hope you can find something that will make him more comfortable. It sounds like he has been through a lot. God Bless.
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Oh my. This is very, very hard. The answer depends so much on personal philosophical and religious beliefs. Here is my view, but it is not really advice. Just my view.

If Dad is lucid and is ready to die, and if you could possibly bring him home, do so and call in hospice. (If you can't bring him home, inquire about a Hospice House.) They will provide the means of keeping him pain-free and comfortable. Perhaps once he is comfortable at home he will decide to eat. Or perhaps not. Other than dealing with pain and comfort issues hospice will let nature take its course.

Hospice will do nothing to hasten his death, but they won't prolong his life against his will. They will help you understand what is happening. Your dad could withdraw from hospice care at any time.

Usually a nurse trained in end-of-life care will come to your home a few times a week. A social worker will come a couple of times of month. A chaplain is available. The service is available 24/7 by phone, if you want to talk to a nurse or to have one come out at any time.

Since he is lucid and can make his own decisions, I'd have a hospice representative come talk to him.

My heart goes out to you. Whatever you decide (or Dad decides), don't beat yourself up about it. Do your best in love, and then let go.
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