My mother died last night. Where do I begin?

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I am to see the funeral home tomorrow morning. My daughter is coming this afternoon to pick out clothes and make a DVD.

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So very sorry for your loss, just take it one step at a time. Make sure to get at least 10 copies of the Death Certificate believe me you will need them.
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My prayers are with you and yours Marig0ld. God Bless.
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You all have been very, very helpful to me. My mom's funeral is tomorrow morning.
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I am so very sorry. You may want to consult an Elder Law Attorney to help guide you thru all of the financial issues.
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More and more I believe that I want to make the plans for myself so that my kids are not left holding the bag. I want to do what one of my grandpa's did.

My Grandpa Fredrickson did a really cool thing, not only did he already make the plans and pay for the whole shebang, he set aside money especially so that we could all go out for brunch together after the grave site service, (there was no big funeral, just a small grave site service). Because he knew that it might not be possible to access his bank account, he put the money, several hundred dollars, into an envelope, and told my auntie where it was. We had a good time together, talking and sharing about Grandpa. He lived in CT where I was born, my parents moved us to CA when I was 8 years old. I missed him and Grandma, but lots of letters were written and some visits were made.
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I feel your pain. My father in law passed away last month. We had nothing planned except that he wanted to be cremated, and when we went to the funeral home (a very well known one), they were going to charge us $5,300! I knew no better, and thought that was the average cost until I told my friends and relatives, and they informed me differently. I looked online and found a wonderful place and had everything done for $868. What a difference! My point is, please don't let the funeral home take advantage of you in your frail state. In addition to taking your daughter with you, take a friend or two or other relatives, as well to get their advice and opinions as you're talking to the funeral director. We ordered 8 death certificates, and so far, everyone has wanted only a faxed copy - not original. I guess it all depends. I am in California. Yes, get them up front because it takes longer to get them afterwards. It is a learning process. Everyday we are dealing with someone or some paperwork regarding his death. I was told it takes time, don't try and do everything at once. On top of my father in law passing, my disabled mother in law has moved in with us. This was not planned, and although she is very sweet, it has been difficult having to take care of someone, as if I had a baby. All I can say is one day at a time. My thoughts are with you.
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Marigold - how fortunate that things seem to be working out for you & your family.

This has been an interesting series of posts. Perhaps the forum administrator could start a list on this forum from of stuff to do when......situations: when they die, etc.

Like now we kinda have a quorum that 20 death certificates seem to be the right amount; that clothing can be made to fit (I've wondered about this as my mom is now teeny-tiny but the clothes she picked out are a size 8); that SS does a clawback of the last month.
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Marigold..I am so very sorry for yourloss. My daddy died last week we buried him Friday.. I am just starting to do ...so glad your daughter is there to help!!! Blessings and prayers
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Someone at our church organized a potluck lunch right after the service, that was so nice. We didn't have to bring anything or do anything. We hung out for a few hours and talked about my daddy and told stories. Everyone had something funny or touching to share.
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I'm so sorry MarigOld for your loss. It will be overwhelming for several weeks but simply reaching out to many of us who have lost a parent is a tremendous step!

The funeral is most important time wise. I agree that you should keep the funeral arrangements simple. Do you have a pastor you like? The church should have someone who can walk you through the details. They usually charge for a soloist and you can choose between a lunch or just coffee and cookies.

Just looking at photos to pick out is a major job. It will bring up a lot of memories. I'm sure your daughter will be a big help. I just used double sided tape and a foam core poster board you can get at office max for displaying them.

Did your mother have an attorney? Was there a will? Do you have other relatives who can fly in and help? Do you have people at your church who are supportive? Ask for as much help as possible as it is difficult to think when you are grieving.

I think you request death certificates through the funeral home. I agree you should get about 20. Any time you request a change of name on something important like a car title, they will request a death cert.

Please keep reaching out for support. You will need it and we are here.

Hugs to you. I know what you're going through and I'm sorry.
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