I set up a camera to be able to see if mom was up and about while I was at work. My mother complained to my sister about the camera though she had agreed to try it for a week. My nephew came to visit her saw the camera and unplugged it, leaving me a very nasty note that I was invading his privacy. When I tried to check in on mom that evening of course I got no feed. Called mom and asked her if she unplugged the camera and of course she said she did not know. Am I wrong for getting upset that my nephew and my sister took down the camera? They have my mother convinced I was “spying” on her and my mother thinks I am trying to “control” her. I don’t know how to move on emotionally since that was a means for me to see mom everyday while not being able to physically be there.

My sister has never wanted to work together in mom’s care. She wants her to do her thing and I do mine with mom. I don’t believe that is the best avenue for caring of our mother with dementia.

How do I handle this interference by my nephew and the lack of support from my sister, my brother and my mom? I am trying to be proactive instead of reactive and am running up against this brick wall called mom, sis, nephew and brother.

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Your mother cannot live alone any longer if she has dementia. She needs either a live person with her in her home or to be in a facility where she is supervised.

Many folks with dementia agree with the perceptions of anyone who is speaking to them at the moment. Many become paranoid about what others are trying to do to them.

Please contact your local Area Agency on Aging and set up a professional needs assessment. Make sure you and your sister are both present for the asessment and the feedback.

It sounds as though you have very different ideas about what mom's needs are. It would be best for both of you, and mom, to get professional feedback about what those needs are, and what resources there are to fulfill them.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn

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