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My mom is in her late 80's and she has dementia and slight Parkinsonian disease. I take care of her 24/7. For the last couple of months, she seemed to have lost interest in everything. She stays in bed everyday. She doesn't get up and do stuff or at least she claims she doesn't have the energy. She doesn't take baths or shower anymore. She doesn't brush her teeth much. And she doesn't eat much either. All day long, she just wants to stay in bed, with me by her side. She gets anxiety attacks and she won't let me out of her sight. Whenever I leave the room to cook or do chores, she calls me back to her room. She can't walk on her own I think because she's lost her balance and can easily fall over. I would have to walk her from her bed to the bathroom whenever she needs the toilet and there is a lot of bathroom visits due to her bowel incontinence. She doesn't want to go to doctor's appointments because it requires a lot of energy so she skips them all the time. She's weak and frail and doesn't want to do anything except sleep. Should she be in a nursing home? Well, she doesn't want to go to any home or facility and I can't force her. Could dementia be causing her decline and is the end near?

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If she doesn’t have the energy or balance to walk, I would get her a wheelchair. You could at least keep her nearer you when you try to do chores and she wouldn’t have the same view all day long. If she’s still able to walk with help to the bathroom, it should be pretty easy to help her transfer from the bed to the wheelchair. Get her a neck pillow and let her nap in the chair if she wants. The collapsible ones can be stowed in the trunk of your car and taken to her doctor appts. and may help her willingness to go.
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Reply to rocketjcat
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It's probably six of one and half a dozen of the other. Dementia, or the disease underlying it, is causing her decline; but at the same time her inertia and immobility will be contributing to her dementia. Was there an abrupt change in her those two months ago? Did you manage to get her examined by a doctor then?

Whether or not you can halt or even reverse the decline - there is no knowing. But you can pull out all the stops in making her comfortable and reassured meanwhile.

Have you thought about asking for a hospice assessment? It might shed light on what is going on with her medically, as well as being an ideal opportunity to talk about her care plan.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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depression/anxiety
dementia
mobility
nutrition
diarrhea
hygiene

Try to find a geriatric primary. You may have to go out of your immediate area to find this doctor but for someone in your mom’s condition it would be well worth the effort.
Once you’ve established a relationship, many will not press repeat visits and they will work with a home health agency that would really benefit your mom.
It could be she would qualify for hospice.
A UTI could be causing her decline. Malnutrition. Any number of things.
Two months is a long time to be in decline.
You could start by placing a call to her present doctor and ask that hospice and/or home health visit for an assessment of her condition.
If all this seems just too much for her, bundle her up and get her to the best hospital ER in your area, not necessarily the closest so she can get the best care possible. If they keep her they will help you make a decision on her next steps.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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