My mom has Alzheimer’s and was diagnosed about 3 years ago. Before, during and after her diagnosis, I was working full time and also her primary care giver. I am the only daughter of 4 children ( 3 brothers all in the area).
I have a job that allows me great flexibility and have always been very close to my mom. Before my dad passed away (15 years ago) I took care of him as well, splitting the time with my mom actually. This is just the role I have always had and wanted to take on. I was at my moms house and everyday, took her to all of her appointments. Dr., hair, shopping, grocery’s, etc etc. I was the person who initiated testing, found Dr.s, helped her with her depression etc.
After my mom was diagnosed it was decided that my mom needed more help and had to move. In the meantime (I was not aware) my mom appointed one of my brothers her durable POA, and in charge of health care decisions. (with my other brothers as having a say as well, I was excluded, and have no idea why)
My mom has been in a senior living home for about a year and very happy. I am happy for my mom but extremely resentful for the decisions she made in excluding me.
Since then things have really changed with my brother who has POA. He literally treats me like crap, is mean and nasty and basically hates me despite my efforts to get along. I have finally figured out that he has been privy to the things my parents did for me financially when I was going through a very ugly divorce. (this was before my mom was diagnosed)
This is the root of his hatred toward me, he feels I was given special treatment and despises me for this.
My concern is, I have no idea how far his reach is in regard to my mom (parents) will and if he can change it based on his feelings toward me. He has already done some things to try and take away things parents gave me. Can he change the will? Do I have a right and how am I able to see it? I have asked the attorney and he said he can’t show me unless my brother says it’s ok.
i don’t trust my brother at all and certainly not with decisions made that would benefit me, that he has power over. I have lost so many days to this, crying, depressed and so hurt.
this is literally killing me. In addition I am so hurt by my moms decisions about her estate. What can or should I do?