Father has dementia. Last year I was seriously ill so sisters have POA. I've recovered & I live closest to dad. How do we change POA to me?

I saw ur explanation. Since u were never his POA, ur father is not in the position to revolk ur sisters and appoint them. They "are" his POAs. Because of this, they may want him closer to them. Its hard to care for someone when u don't have them.

I don't see any problem with u questioning the hearing aides not working. But the POA should be called about any appts being made for Dad.

Looks like your sisters will have to remain in charge. You will just be the "lookout". Just giving them info about Dad.

The first question, obviously, is whether your father is still competent to execute a new POA that cancels the old one. That’s easy! The second more difficult question is whether a POA can delegate their powers to someone else, ie you, I think that you need legal advice on this one, because it may depend on State legislation.

The nursing home should not have taken instructions from you, and your sister who has POA should be fussing at them, not at you.

If your father is not competent to change the POA then it's possible that it can't be changed outside of someone gaining guardianship, which as you've discovered, can be a lengthy and expensive process. Having a lawyer review all the paperwork might be a next step, if your sister does indeed want to give up the responsibility.

POA is a big responsibility and quite stressful. Perhaps there is family history involved, you being the older sibling and all. And your sister may not have handled your inquiries in the absolute best way possible.

But it is what it is. My advice is to apologize and repair the relationship with your sister, and let her know that if she needs any help, you're available. That you'd appreciate being kept in the loop about your father's health and activities. And that you'll run things through her in the future before contacting the nursing home.

And then all of you can focus on your father.

I don't think many people are aware that a good DPOA, drawn up by an experienced, knowledgable and skilled attorney practicing in either the Elder Law, Probate or Trust fields, might include a provision such as is contained in my father's.

It specifically states that the Attorney-in-Fact (the person appointed to act) may choose such individuals as may be appropriate to carry out the terms of the DPOA. That could authorize me to retain anything from an investment advisor to a handyman contractor, or to authorize someone (including relatives) to assist me in other areas.

Jujubell, If such a provision is included in your father's DPOA, your sisters can select you to act in their behalf.

I would seek the advice of a respected, recommended attorney in the fields I mention, to interpret the document for you.   This is one of the reasons I'm so opposed to Internet documents.     They're not drafted by an attorney who knows the family, and don't always address potentially necessary contingencies.

Caveat: the function I refer to is embodied in a DPOA; you mention a "POA" and medical issues.    Is this a medical authorization, i.e., a Living Will  (POA)  to which you refer?

Your sister telling you that you are welcome to take over can't be anything but sarcastic since that isn't an option. You say "My sibs & I are close & do not fight for control over our father", if that is true then why the push back from your sister when you raised a legitimate concern? She sounds as though she resented your involvement, perhaps you need to ask her how she would like you to handle any future problems that come up.

Thank you for the replies.

I was hospitalized for 8 1/2 months recovery from open heart surgery, loss of functioning legs, & other health issues related to sepsis.

I am stronger to the point of doing a 10 mile bike ride this week.

I was not part of the POA process. I am not named as primary nor secondary. My sisters are named. I don't have details of how, who, when for POA.

All was good until this week. I call my father daily & see him every week or so. Last Friday my husband & I picked my father up for outing. He could not hear a word. Upon returning, we mentioned to staff that Daddy could not hear us & could they please check his hearing aides.

I called my father Sat, Sun, Mon, & Tue. He still could not hear me.

I left 2 messages with home case worker. She called me back yesterday morning. She told me hearing aides were checked & batteries changed. She told me an appt will be made for my father & she will let me know date/time of appt.

Later yesterday I get mssg from secondary sister saying I wasn't suppose to be addressing medical issues. I had to go through father's POA. I didn't realize asking I wasn't following protocol.

Sib said if I want to take over POA, I may do so. That lead me to this forum. I am clueless to POA's & how to changed from my 2 sibs to me. I am researching to educate myself.

My father's progression of dementia is prohibiting him from any decision making.

I don't know what is next step. I have some research which indicates having to go to court. Research indicate this can be a lengthy & expensive process which I don't have the funds to do.

My sibs & I are close & do not fight for control over our father. I want to do what is in my father's best interest especially since I was unable to be there for my mother.

msjujubell, it all depends on how the Power of Attorney was written. Example, I assume you were primary POA? Correct? And your sisters were secondary and third on the POA?

If your sisters had not been mentioned in the original POA, then only your Dad could have authorized the change on his Power of Attorney, if he was still able.

Let's assume everyone's name was on the POA, then it appears that you can once again be the primary Power of Attorney.

Let us know what was the wording.

How did your sisters "take on" the POA? You need to read the documents. Only your father can appoint his POA, and there can't be any hand off of responsibility unless the document(s) name more than one person to act jointly or individually, or as a secondary who can step in if/when the named person is unable or chooses not to fulfil their obligations.

I would contact the attorney who prepared current POA. As long as your sisters and you are in agreement, a new POA could be prepared.